old things are passed away

Reading the book "Growing up Holy and Wholly" makes me think alot about the past. The dysfunctional home we lived in, and how it seemed normal at the time, We didn't know any better, it was all we saw. Others outside our home didn't see what we saw in our home. Some did, some adults got close enough to see and try to help. I know from reading this book, ours was not the only home that had issues. Dad was really concerned about appearances and I know I was too. What really matters is am I pleasing to God. What others think doesn't get me to heaven or keep me out either. God sees our hearts, and that is what matters. The amazing thing about that is God forgives and forgets our sins. Most churches/ ministers talk alot about grace and I have blogged about it several times. I believe it is the most misunderstood part of Christianity. Grace, we receive it but try to put human rules on it regarding others. God truly accepts us just as we are, without one plea as a song says. That is Grace, just as we are. We do not have to work to be good enough to receive it. Our dysfunctional past does not prevent us from receiving it. God worked miracles in our lives many times and we do not even realize it. Because of Grace, we can start from right where we are, in the rags of our sins so to speak. It doesn't matter, the past doesn't matter. Dad's past doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is if he accepted the Grace that was offered. My past doesn't matter, did I accept the Grace offered to me? Did I believe that Jesus was able to pardon me of my sins and accept him and Lord and Savior? I was reading in the book about a man that came to Christ but he chewed tobacco and many Christian tried to help him from that awful sin of chewing tobacco until he quit church. They probably never even considered that gossiping in God's eyes was just as big a sin. I'm not sure the tobacco chewing was as bad as gossiping but it seems to be the other persons sin is always bigger than my own. That isn't grace, the same Grace we receive we need to practice giving to others. After all God is the only one that can change a heart, we cannot. It seems to me the biggest thing in this book is to learn Grace, what it is and accept it and live it. Live Grace, extend Grace to others. I am sure there are Christians our there that have been married once and succeeded and probably look at me, married five times and wonder about me. I know God's perfect plan is one man, one woman for life. I failed in that area. It is said God doesn't waste a hurt. God didn't waste a hurt  on me, he changed me. I am sure others failed in other areas. I used to be really self righteous and once in a major difficult time in my life I saw how self righteous I was. I really try not to be self righteous any more. I want to practice Grace. I want to leave those old things back there in the past. I want Grace and I need to give it to others also.  God bless, LVZ.

upper level disturbance

We were joking about upper level disturbance as a weather system went thru the area. I think I have met people who had an upper level disturbance. We have conflicts within ourselves, sometimes we try to do the right thing and still mess up. Many times I worry about the things I write being offensive. I explain, its my blog, my thoughts, it don't necessarily mean I am right. I've been wrong many times in my life. I guess I will just credit it to an upper level disturbance. My brain wasn't thinking right. I do have an attitude of wanting to be right before God. I don't have to answer to anyone for my life but to God. If I please him, I'm OK, upper level disturbance or otherwise. When I am depressed, I can think of  that as an upper level disturbance. One thing I do know God understands me. Even if I misspeak, he knows my heart, while that is comforting, it can also be disturbing because he also understand us when our motives are not pure. I believe God wants to calm the storms in our life just like he calmed the Sea. When I look back in my life, and see the hardships he brought me through, he can bring me through other storms also. The storms of life, the upper level disturbance are just as easy for the Master of the Universe as calming the sea. I love being in the hands of God, he is trust worthy. I still see things in my life that make me wonder, if I am as committed to God as I would like to be. I think I want him to be first in my life, but at times I feel I still have some distance to travel to get there. I am still reading the book Growing up Holy and Wholly. While I like the book, I also don't like it. It makes me realize that not only did I grow up in a dysfunctional home, but I also had some issues in my own adulthood.  But I know that God loves me just as I am.  I am better than I deserve, I am forgiven and my sins are forgotten. That is wonderful when you really stop and think about it.  O, that I could live gracefully as well as receive the grace God gives to me. How we live is where the rubber meets the road more than what we say and think. May I live grace, practicing it in my life.  God bless, LVZ.

Lose the Battle but win the War

OK, I thought it was a catchy title. I was talking to someone the other day about when I was going thru my first divorce and how I didn't think my Daughter would even stay with me if I fought for custody. She was a teenager during the worst of those times. Being at that age she would have had her choice to stay with whomever she chose. I didn't even try, I thought the cards were stacked against me. Sometimes parents talk about the number of kids they want and in a normal conversation before she was concieved, I did say I didn't want another child. Some time in her formative years, her mother told her that I never wanted her. Another conversation when asked what I wanted, I did say a boy, and to my way of thinking just another adult conversation about choices. It seems that was conveyed to her too, you Daddy wanted a boy. As I think back I should have tried because it would have conveyed a message that I wanted her, she was worth fighting for. I think about it now, even if I'd lost and I am very sure I would have, I would have still won the war. She would have known her father thought she was worth fighting for. I was fighting an uphill battle in that marriage anyway. Momma wanted to be their friend instead of a parent. Most discipline seemed to have to come from me and even then I would have been at odds with the spouse that was a friend instead of a parent.  A teenager does not have the reasoning cababilities of an adult. They only know what they want. Its a parents responsibility to protect them and teach them the best they can. When I left the home for good, my daughter was 17 and a Junior in High School. She was an excellent student. As I recall she had a 3.4 GPA the fall before I separated from her mother. The very next report card, she had 1.17 or something like that. I was out of the home, I had no say. I couldn't make her stay in school. She quit  towards the end of her junior year in High School. I was talking about it one day at work with coworkers. I knew life is hard with just a High School diploma and its even harder without one. I wanted her to stay in school. A white haired coworker said: you know what you have to do, you have to hang a carrot in front of her nose just like you would try to motivate a donkey.  You need to find out something expensive that she really wants, buy it dangle it in front of her nose and say when you show me a High School diploma, this is yours. I did that, she really wanted a VW beatle. I found a 1966 VW beatle that was being restored. When it was finished, I bought it for $6,000 and took her with me when I went to pick it up. This is yours when you show me a High School Diploma. It was White with a Red interior and it did look like a new car.   She didn't go back like I really wanted her to but she did go to an alternative school and did get her High School Diploma. I know she feels it wasn't all about the car, she really did want a High School diploma, but when you are at that age and live with a parent that is not going to make you go school, you really do need some help getting motivated. I believe it did help. When it comes to our kids, I don't think we have to win every battle, but we do want to win the war. Sometimes I wish I could have looked past the current battle and would have seen the overall picture of the war. The most important thing I could have done in life is be the best parent I could possibly be. I did some things right and I am proud of them. There are other areas, I could have done much better. I once prayed about my kids not calling or honoring me on fathers day. It was before fathers day probably in 2000 or 2001. A few days before fathers day another girl (Asia ) that didn't have a father called me and asked if her and her friend could go to church with me on Fathers Day. I felt like God was telling me, I heard your prayer, don't worry about it.  Asia was 12 when I met her. No one made her go to school. She never even knew who her father was. Her mother was in jail most of her childhood. There were different times I bought clothes and shoes for her. When she was 18, I gave her her first car. I may not have been the best Dad in the world but I tried to at least be a good one. I didn't have a good example to follow other than maybe the work ethic I learned. Many things I had to unlearn from my father, especially how to treat a spouse. But the Father we had is the best example we have to work with. The good things we copy, the bad we change and maybe do the opposite. Perhaps we can win the war for our children with God's help. God Bless, LVZ.

Thru the Fire

Isaiah 43:2 "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee; when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." Sometimes we feel like we are going through the fire or through the flood.
All of us go thru difficult times. Sometimes we look at the next person and think how did they go through that. We each face difficulties in life and to us they are the worst places we have been through. What may be your hardship may not look that hard to the next person. They have their own hardship to deal with. When you are in the middle of your difficulty, you may feel like your going through the fire. We sometimes say that, "I'm going through the fire." God tells us he be with us and we will make it through. We will not get burned up, maybe singed a little. There was a period of time in my life that was very difficult. I remember back and during that time of difficulty and shortly after going through it, I remember talking about my situation and my hands would litterly be shaking. I went to medical at work in January of 1993 because I knew something was wrong with me. I was the common denominator on several incidents that happened that morning after I got up to go to work. I was in a difficult marriage. My spouse had been unfaithful and I knew it and it was eating on me. Some time earlier she had set the house on fire and just some different trying experiences. The Doctor asked me about what is going on in your life and I told her about these things. At the end of the hour I spent in her office, she told me you have nothing left to give to anybody. She sent me home on medical leave for a month. She said, "Whats going on at home, you need to fix it, no one else can."  I knew then, it was over. I wanted to stay until the kids were out of the house, but that wasn't going to happen. I did leave and slept in the canopy of my truck in the parking lot at work.They had an exercise facility at work where I could get a shower. I'd shower put on clean close and go to work,  living in my truck and the parking lot until security at work caught me. "You cannot do this, you need to find someplace to live," said the security officer.  I was paying the house payment, the groceries, the light bill, the telephone bill at the house even though I wasn't living there and felt I didn't have enough money to rent a place for me. I found a room to rent and stayed for about a month. Didn't like that, and found a studio apartment with a shared bath. I stayed there for a couple of months and one day the landlord says you really don't seem to be the right kind of person for a place like this. He told me he had a small one bedroom apartment that was a little more per month but If I wanted it, I could rent that. I moved.  About that time my wife wanted to sell the house and I jumped at the chance and it sold in three days time after we signed with the Realestate agent.  It felt like I was going thru the fire at that time, but I look back and see the hand of God helping me thru this time.  I am so grateful that I had a God who was still watching out for me as I was going thru one of the worst times of my life. It may have felt like I was going thru the fire, or that I was barely keeping my head above water, but it was like God said in Isaiah, I will be with you and he was. God bless, LVZ.

spare the rod

The Bible talks much about spare the rod and its effects. Proverbs 13: 24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." The Amplified Bible says it this way "He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early." Here is an important point, punishes him early. I heard a preacher say recently that the more spankings a child receives before age 5 the less he needs after age 5. When we train them early, it is so much easier to handle and train at a young age. Another verse says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. That's just the way children are, they cannot reason, they do not have that capability yet. I believe many young parents do not want to use a rod because perhaps they were punished in anger or beyond reasonable measures. That doesn't make the Bible wrong because a parent disciplined incorrectly. I believe God's word to be true and accurate in this area as any other. I was a very young parent, barely in my early 20's when  I became a parent. I had imperfect parents myself. I didn't take any classes on parenting, and I think it is the same for most couples. We go into parenting with almost no knowledge. We make mistakes, but that does not make God who made us wrong. He knows each of us better than we know ourselves. I look at a well trained pet, and compare to a poorly trained pet. the early training of a pet dog seems to do well. They are not hated because the owner is trying to train them. Unless they are abused, the pet still feels loved. One advantage to spanking to my way of thinking is it is less time consuming. It is over in done with in a very short time and both parent and child can move on to other things. God created us and the Bible is the owners manual for us to use. God loves us and who he loves, he chastens.  That's my take on this. God bless, LVZ.

What would I change

If I could change anything what would I want to change? Some time back on a road trip, I think it was September of 2012, I saw some foot prints I left in the dirt when I was trying to take a picture. I thought at that time, about what I was leaving behind. My footprints. My Grandfather left behind children that believed in God. I believe all of my Fathers family served God as best they knew. We talk sometimes about the dysfunction in our families but in spite of the dysfunction, they left children that believed in God. My father seemed to have left less of a legacy. In spite of being a minister of the gospel, he may have left us with a tainted view of God. Many more of my generation have found other interests that seem to have left God out of the picture. I am trying to be careful with my words until I get to my point. The last thing I want to do is offend anyone. Then here I am and in spite of being a Christian for so many years I am not sure anyone is following my footsteps. If I could change anything, that is what I would change. The most important thing that I talk about in my blog is having a relationship with God. I may talk about many things but I cannot think of anything more important than that relationship. Papa Johns and I use to talk about spiritual things. I can talk about spiritual things with some of my cousins. But when it comes to my children, I do not feel it is an easy subject to talk about as it was with the older generation before me. The older generation were not perfect people. We can look and see many mistakes. I can look and see many errors in my life. But how did they leave foot prints that I could follow spiritually and sometimes I feel I have left none. They were not a perfect people. Nor am I. Our country as a whole seems to be walking away from God. What does the future hold if the generation following us is even farther away from God? All have  sinned, mine is not the first generation to sin. But it is and always has been a whosoever will program. When we look at history, the children of Israel would also stray, sometimes for many generations but God would bring them back  thru hard trials and tribulations. What will our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren face if this trend continues? I use to go to dinner when I was single and about 45 years of age with a brother in the Lord that was 55 and another brother in the Lord that was 65.  They encouraged me not so much in preaching to me but just being my friend in a difficult time in my life. How do I do the same for those behind? How do I encourage those to continue on as I was encouraged? How can I be the same blessing to those behind? Am I leaving any stones of remembrance along my way? Can they point to Father  and Grandfather and friend and say that is what I want to follow? That is what I would like to change, I would like to leave a spiritual legacy for others to follow. If no one follows still I must walk on. My God has been good to me. There is nothing I have or have done that is as important as having this relationship with God. It has stood the test of time in my life and I wish I could leave a legacy. Grandfather Leon did this and did that, but most of all he was a Christian and lived his life believing in a God that could change the world as well as his life. I do not know the number of my days but if I leave tomorrow I will be in the hands of a just and loving God. there is no better place to be. My sins have been forgiven and remembered no more, God bless, LVZ,

Customer Service

I went into my favorite Mcdonalds on Eason in Tupelo to get my usual Iced Coffee with Sugar free French Vanilla. The cash register person hollered to someone tell Nugat to come up front. Then I heared that person say Lina come up front. I asked the cash register person are you asking Lina to come up front to make my ice coffee? and she said yes. We know you and Lina will want to make it. It made me feel special to see them do that. Lina knows how I like my iced coffee and can get it right every time. And of course as soon as Lina was up front and saw me she knew it was for my iced coffee. At that McDonalds I do know one of the managers, and a couple of other managers recognize me when I come in. Many times when Lina comes in the door she will start making my iced coffee and it will be ready before I am thru at the cash register. That is good business practice to treat your customers that way and I really did feel special. Another thing I saw in a warehouse for Ashley Funiture and Stash Furniture was a sign that stated "Take good care of the customer and they will come back, Take good care of the customers furniture and it won't come back. It really is that simple. Our livelihood depends on it." I may not have gotten it exactly word for word but close. That is true and from Ashley furniture to Stash Furniture to McDonalds, it is true taking care of your customer will bring them back again and again. I know I can get my Iced Coffee like I like it at McDonalds on Eason. And if Ashley and Stash live up to their motivational sign in their warehouse, I will be back also.  God bless, LVZ.

Better than I deserve

"Better than I deserve" is the comment Dave Ramsey gives on the air. I like that. I too am doing better than I deserve. When God forgives he remembers our sins no more. Hebrews 10:17 "And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more." As I thought on Dave Ramsey's comment that he says on every program I have heard of his, I too am doing better than I deserve. I remember sins and I think about it and realize God does not remember them. When he forgives us it, he removes them from us. I remember, but God does not. We do need to forgive as God forgives us but we are not God. He is able to forget as well. Many times I have wished I also could forget. It is comforting to know that God does forget as he says many places in his word. I guess that's why I also feel better than I deserve. I committed sin and God forgave. He paid the price for my sins and yours. We don't deserve Grace, it is freely given by God. We can not be good enough to earn it. We cannot give enough to buy grace. It is freely given. If God was able to remember all I have done, I certainly wouldn't deserve grace. I truly am better than I deserve. God bless, LVZ.

Black History Month

I have some thoughts on this subject. I was thinking are black people still not included in the history of our nation? I think this is something I want to check out because I think having a special history month for a race of people in this country is divisive. 11:00 Sunday morning is already the most segregated time in the US. How can we become one people if we have separate history? During the time I was thinking on this I heard Rush on the radio talking about a 7 year old being questioned about what he learned in school that day. They had a history class and according to this  7 year old the teacher said Henry Ford invented the automobile. The father told him no it wasn't true. According to google the first gas powered auto was invented by Karl Benz of Germany. Being of German ancestry I could be upset that my race was not credited for this invention, but like the people talking on the radio show figure its the ignorance of the teacher. So history is not always accurate as taught in our schools. Then in Oxford Mississippi some college students put a hang mans noose around a statue of the first black man to integrate the college at Oxford. It is being considered a hate crime and rightfully so. If we have zero tolerance in our grade schools and a child can be expelled for bringing a toy gun to school in his backback then these college age idiots should also be expelled. They are at in age when they should have better reasoning capabilities than a gradeschooler. So once again I think that maybe having a black history month is not a bad idea. I still want to check it out and see what is actually being taught in our schools. God bless, LVZ.

A view of God

I do know I was raised in a dysfunctional Christian home. As children we look to parents to protect us. Its almost like they are God to us especially at a young age. As I was thinking on these lines I thought of the scripture in Isaiah 49:15. "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee." I also read a book "the Price of Freedom", that may have caused me to think about God's far reaching love. I know many others that also were raised in dysfunctional homes. When we grow up, we do not know any better. We think that is the norm. Some of us may think every family is like the one we grew up in until we see something better. I also think that because of a dysfunctional parent or parents we sometimes develop a view of God that is not accurate. If we had a parent that did not protect us we may question God's ability to protect us. The scripture above tells us, yes it is possible a mother may forget her child. Most of the time we don't think that is possible. But when we live in a dysfunctional home we may realize, yes even Mothers can be dysfunctional. The movie Precious is a good example of a dysfunctional Mother. But God is God and he tells us he will not forget us. When you walk with God for a while, you realize God is not dysfunctional. He does what he says he will do. He does not fail us. Hind sight always seems to show God has always done what is best for us, even when we don't understand. God never wastes a hurt, he uses them to make us better. I still remember things I have done that God forgot when he forgave me. God has our best interests at heart. When we mess up, he still loves us and brings us through the situation. I have messed up so many times. I have been married 5 times now. The previous 4 marriages ended in divorce, but I still see God loving me through it all, every hardship, every trial, every mistake I made, God brought me through. He does not forget us, God is true to the end. He delivers on his promises. I  had parents that promised me a dollar for every A I got on my report card. They were trying to motivate me to do better and I did. But I don't remember getting my dollars, even though my very next report card had three A's.  God is not like parents that fail. He does not forget his promises. He is better to us than any mother could ever dream of being. God bless, LVZ.

soft answer*

I was thinking about the scripture saying a soft answer turns away wrath. I saw recently where a couple broke up on facebook. First one part posted a somewhat derogatory comment and soon the other side posted a worse one. We do reap what we sow. I thought about this because it was someone close to me and I hated to see these comments on facebook for everyone to see. I have been thru many breakups in my life, 4 divorces and there were other relationships that didn't last. My thoughts on this are, those women were created in the image of God. Even though the relationship didn't last, I hope to see them in heaven someday. I resisted some temptations I had to say some derogatory things at times. Once, I was so mad I was on my way at night in the dark to bust out some windows either in my spouse's car or apartment. My son hardly ever calls me. That night I was in the neighborhood where my spouse was staying intending to do as I stated above. My Son says, Dad what are you doing? I told him and he said, Dad, you don't want to do that. I didn't, I think it just helped to be able to talk to someone about my anger. I've seen it many times in breakups where terrible things are said to one another. A soft and gentle answer does turn away wrath. I think it is important to remember, they are created in the image of God also. They are God's children or perhaps pre Christians at least. Another scripture says vengeance belongs to God. Another scripture asks why we do not suffer wrong. I have learned to stop looking for the right person and to try and be the right person for someone. I've tried to look at myself and see my part in the breakup and see what I can do better. That person may just not be the right one for you. Don't tear them down with cruel words and bruise them verbally. Give that soft answer and remember they too are created in the image of God. We do not need to be a doormat, but I wonder many times when things don't work out, instead of tearing each other apart with words and actions, just walk away. Marriages can work and relationships can be repaired with God's help when both sides are willing. When one side no longer wants to work at it, it's over. I still believe God's perfect plan is for one woman and one man for life until death do part. I have failed, but God forgives and we start over. I hope to see each of my ex's in heaven someday. It wasn't totally my fault or theirs. I can only work on me. But I hope I can hug each of their necks someday in heaven.  God bless, LVZ.

Christianity

I believe being a Christian is a life style. Over the period of a lifetime, God changes us into better people if we look to him for direction for our life. There are scriptures that tell us to prefer others in honour, to render good for evil, not to take vengeance into our own hand, but leave that to God. A lot of Christianity is little things here and there that shape our life. I see difference in my life in little things over the years. Yesterday in preparing for a trip, one of the things I did was to make sure I had a full tank of gas in my car in case Barbara needs to use it while I am gone. I will fill up her car when I get to Memphis. I try to make sure there is gas in her car on a regular basis. I don't know if she has put gas in her own car more than a handful of times in the years we have been married. I use to didn't think it was my responsibility. In my first marriage if I got into my spouse's car and it was below a 1/4 tank, I wouldn't drive it. It was her responsibility to make sure she didn't run out. I've changed. One other thing that I think shows I have changed, at night it doesn't irritate me if someone besides me is snoring, I think she is getting good sleep and I am good with that. I remember in the first marriage if I was snoring, I'd get poked in the ribs and woke up and neither of us would get good nights sleep. These are just little things. But Barbara looks out for me too. Actually we both look out for each other. It is a much more pleasant way to live. Don't keep a record of wrongs. After some of the marriages I have been in it is nice to know I can be away from home and know my spouse is trust worthy. I won't be blogging for a while as I am gone from home. You reap what you sow, I try to sow seeds of being trust worthy myself. I believe it is a lot of little things that shape our lives into being decent human beings. Christianity has change me over the years, I think I am a better person than I was as a young man. I was selfish and had an attitude about me first and what I want, Now at least part of the time I look to the needs of my spouse and try to make her life a little easier in a few small things like keeping up with her gas and maintenance on her vehicle. I feel it is my job to make sure she has gas in her car. I wasn't always like that. God bless, LVZ.

Consistency

As I think on this, I remember a preacher one time said what our children need is consistency. I believe that, if it is wrong today, it should still be wrong tomorrow. We need to have a consistent standard we live by. A while back I was thinking about core values we as Christians need to have.
This is one area in my life I still struggle with. I will do fine for a while and have my devotions regularly. Then something out of the ordinary happens in my life and I seem to not be so consistent.
I believe I need to be consistent even when the not so ordinary happens in my life. I need God everyday. I need his direction when things are not so good and when things are going great. I need him in sickness and in health. God is constant in our lives. He promised to never leave us or forsake us. When we fail, he is still there. When I have strayed spiritually, he is still there. He brings me back. God is constant, a continuing force in my life, shaping / molding me as he sees fit. I remember a time of difficulty in my life when Psalms 1 became my favorite chapter in the Bible. Spiritually I was not healthy at that time. I was really struggling with loneliness and keeping bad company. One Sunday morning I left work to find a Church to attend. I was living in Everett and working in Renton. I left work and drove down one of the main streets in Renton. There I saw a little store front Baptist Church. It was just about ten o'clock so I stopped and went in. Just a few people were there, maybe fire or six including the minister that got up to preach. He spoke on Psalms 1 and I knew my constant God was speaking to me. From that day on I read Psalms 1 everyday for about three months. Even when we struggle our constant God sees what we are going thru and is there to help us. Psalms 1 is still a favorite passage of mine, maybe because I knew God was watching over me even when I was struggling in life. God bless, LVZ.

Healing

I know God can heal. It is head knowledge but I wonder if it has sunk into my heart. I while back I read in James 5:14 about calling on the elders of the church when we are sick. I wonder why that is so hard for me? Do I really believe that God can heal? Does not God even use Doctors, does not all knowledge come from God? I remember recently an elder explaining the verse in James as he anointed the head of a brother. There is no magic in the oil, we do this to follow scripture. I have thought about that many times since then. But why do I have difficulty with asking others to pray for me? My right elbow has been hurting for months. I know I am getting older and I can't do the things I used to do even in my late forties. Do I really believe in healing if I do not ask for it for me? I do remember a time when my leg was feeling numb. I was walking a picket line, we were on strike. I prayed about it and asked God to help me find a Chiropractor. I knew something was wrong to cause that numbness in my leg. I walked into Yardley Chiropractic and got checked out. He said he felt he could help me. I explained my situation about being on strike, I thought maybe I could get an adjustment as I probably had a pinched nerve. He explained that he wasn't a Chiropractor like I'd been to before. What was causing the numbness took a long time to get that bad. The healing would not happen overnight. He was an upper cervical Chiropractor, but if I would come in for every adjustment he asked for, he would carry me thru the strike. I went with it simply because I had prayed about it and trusted that it was God's answer to that prayer. I'm glad I did, years later I am still in good health. The numbness went away after a period of time, but it wasn't overnight. I will never go to a regular chiropractor again. I believe all knowledge is given by God. But now back to my original question, Why do I find it difficult to ask others to pray for me? The elders of my church for example. I am sure God can heal, and his word does say to call on the elders and anoint with oil. The next verse says the prayer of faith shall save the sick.  There were times when Jesus prayed for healing for someone, he'd say "They sins are forgiven" If he can forgive sins, what is to prevent him from healing. I am not sure why I hesitate at asking for prayer for healing. It is for me the same as salvation is for me. By his stripes we are healed. Many times he healed physically and spiritually at the same time. It seems in reading about healing they are closely tied together, physical and spiritual healing. Even in James, he says "shall save the sick". Perhaps it is to point out how important spiritual healing is. I do not know all, but I believe and confess with my mouth that God is able to also heal the physical ailments as well as the spiritual. It should not be any harder to pray for physical needs than it is for spiritual needs. God is God over all our needs, Spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, financial, what ever the need, God is able. God bless, LVZ.

The truth shall set you free*

Well, the first attempt at writing this just got blown away. This thought came to me (the title) some time back and I started this blog (months ago). Now that I am sitting down to blog, I don't remember what it was all about.  I do remember a time when I was going thru my first divorce. My wife and I had been separated for some time. I got a relationship started with a friend from work. I knew it was wrong, but it seemed I couldn't let it go. I confided in my Pastor, and he did not condemn me but prayed with me. It seemed when my sin was in the open and not hidden no more I was free. I also remember this was my first relationship outside of marriage, and as I overrode my conscience it got easier and easier to sin.  I found many who also were Christians that had the thought, this is the 90's, God understands.  This tells how long ago this was, My first divorce was in 1993.  It is so easy to allow things in our life, we can find so many excuses. I found an excuse even in the Bible. Didn't King David have an affair with Bathsheba? Didn't God still call king David a man after his heart? King David repented but he still suffered consequences for his sin. We set up our children and future generations for dysfunction when we disobey God. God's plan works and God has our best interests at heart. It was being honest about the sin in my life and confessing it that set me free. It lost its hold on me. There were other things that for whatever reason we are ashamed of, they seem to have a hold on us, but when they are in the open they don't seem so big anymore. I do recommend being careful about confessing to just anyone. A trusted friend, a minister, a counselor. Who better than God who can also forgive? When he forgives, they are thrown into the sea of forgetfulness, remembered no more. O if I could live my life over again, the things I think I would change. But I would start off with the same knowledge base and same upbringing. I would probably make the same decisions again. God can change us if we put our trust in him. God bless, LVZ.

The Power of Grace

I am still thinking about Grace. In Isaiah 55:11 (The Amplified Bible) "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return to me void (without producing any effect, useless), but it shall accomplish  that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." When I think about this scripture and my life, that is what happened. In spite of being raised in a dysfunctional Christian home, in spite of being raised in a very legalistic church, the gospel came thru. That is what God says about his word, Grace is central to God and his word. It is all about redemption of mankind. ME and many others. Somehow even though I may not understand it perfectly it has transformed my life. That unconditional Love of God is powerful. It can work its will thru imperfect preachers, teachers etc. It happened in my life, in spite of the dysfunction, in spite of the legalism, I learned I needed a relationship with God. That message came thru all the other stuff. I got it, I understood that.  God's word does not need a perfect teacher, there are none. There are no perfect churches, if there was and you or I found it and joined, we would ruin it, because we are not perfect. Any church on the surface of God's earth is made of  imperfect people. God's word stands on it own, it will accomplish the purpose for which it was sent. How do you compete with unconditional Love? I don't believe you can. You can find all kinds of inferior substitutes but they are never as good as the real thing. Jesus was the only perfect one, and he gave his life to pay for our sins. He was the unblemished lamb, the only one that could pay the penalty for our sins.   We do not have to accept what we were given in life and think there is nothing better. God can change us into what he wants. He has a purpose for each of us, it doesn't matter where we came from. It doesn't matter what sins we committed.  It only matters that we say yes to Jesus and let him change our lives. God bless, LVZ.