A Story about Grace

In the book I am reading, I read the following story:
  A Texas rancher, a vigorous, aggressive, achieving fellow, who had made lots of money with a big ranch and had many people working for him. He developed the notion that religion was a good thing for these folks because it kept them in line and it motivated them. So, every Sunday morning he marched his ranch hands off to church. He said, "It will teach them a lesson."
  Some years went by  and a migrant worker who had parked himself and his family of twelve children just across the fence from the rancher's ranch sneaked under the fence one night and stole a calf. The ranch hands discovered it, and gruffly jerked him up before the rancher, ans asked, "What shall we do with him?" The owner said, "String him up, it will teach him a lesson."
  The rancher died and appeared before God. When the books were opened and the angels read the long record of aggressive behavior, they asked God, "What shall we do with him?" And God said "Forgive him;it will teach him a lesson."

I read this story and thought about it. It shows unconditional love of God. The rancher certainly didn't deserve to be forgiven. He had strung up the father of twelve children over a calf, when he was rich enough, he could certainly given it away.  The story  sounds like it should have ended a different way. We are all like that rancher. What ever we have done thru out life we do not deserve to be forgiven any more than that rancher did. But God forgives unconditionally. The rancher certainly didn't earn it. I think he should have forgiven the migrant worker, but that would be like he earned it by doing the same thing. We do need to forgive others as Christ forgave us. But we cannot earn grace no matter what we do. It is freely given to us by God when we least deserve it, and there I think the story makes the point. Unconditional Grace, freely given by God. Life should end a different way but by God's grace we end up forgiven.  God bless, LVZ.

Grace again

I can't seem to get over this thought about grace. We grow up in church and we hear it all our lives.
With my legalistic background I wonder how well I understand this grace. We want rules to follow. It seems over time we make rules for the previous rules. We start with the ten commandments and over the centuries it turned into probably hundreds of rules to clarify the first ten. I think that is why you can find so many rules. In the church I grew up in it was these necessary things, I believe there were twenty eight of these necessary things. We didn't like to call them rules. Some churches had bylaws, I think that is what they called them. Don't most of the laws we make in our country somehow fit one of the ten commandments?  Jesus would sum it up in: love the Lord your God with all your heart, as the greatest commandment and the second was like unto it, Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus would simplify things again. That's Grace, simple unconditional love. No strings attached. We worry about cheap grace and many will talk about cheapening grace when we sin again and again. I tend to think that way too, but doesn't that start to put conditions on grace again? This is almost hard to fathom, unconditional love. No conditions, if you say you cannot commit the same sin more than once, don't you put a condition on God's Love? We live in an imperfect world, we were raised by imperfect parents, and then we had children and we see all our mistakes as well. Haven't I committed the same sin more than once, almost any thing I want to look at in my life? Then God throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness and remembers it no more. I wonder if the true meaning of grace has made it from my head to my heart.  Do I actually live Grace, unconditional Love. I remember struggling as a young Christian. I thought I can't live this, I keep messing up. Its for others because I see what I do wrong. Maybe all we really have to do is love God and just keep trying? He says to come just as we are, without one plea. Grace - unconditional love. Just as we are. I keep thinking about Grace and wonder do I really understand it as I should? I saw how hard I wanted to be on myself when I had that accident. That wasn't an example of Grace. Some times it seems inconceivable to think Ted Bundy could be in heaven some day. Unconditional love could put him there.  Or how about one of these other murderers, like the Green River Killer. Wouldn't unconditional love apply to someone like that if they repented and asked to be forgiven? Then why not me? God bless, LVZ.

Phil Robertson

I just listened to Phil Robertson speaking in California. He makes a lot of sense. I like him. He tells his story and it is different than mine. He's better at it. God bless him.  Phil has his own tactics to tell the world about Jesus. Some people will listen to him that will not listen to me. I might be able to reach someone that will not tune into him. This country needs Jesus. It is not Obama care or Obama's tactics that will save this country. If Mitt Romney had won, we would be hearing a different version of how to fix the USA. It still wouldn't work. We need Jesus. The last time there was a spiritual renewal in this country. People were back to work, crime was down. Quality of life improved. It would be like 6 million people giving their heart to God in this country in  a few months time. I don't care what your political belief is, it is not going to fix this country. People fighting against Chris Christy, afraid he might run and win in 2016. Others afraid Hillary might run and win. Neither one is going to fix this country. We will continue to go downhill no matter who gets elected,
unless God moves on our behalf. Then it won't matter who is in the White House. I will live until I die, what a profound statement. If it is 70 years, 80 years, 90 years, I do not know. But after death is the time I will answer to God for my life, and so will everyone. Jesus has the answer for the world today. We want to be healthy, happy. If I can make it as simple as I can. It is in eternity with God, there will be no sorrow, no tears, no heartache. Yes politically I think conservatively. But I have yet to find a political candidate that can change a life like Jesus can.  The answer is not in politics  today any more than it was in Jesus day. The leaders were out there to better themselves. The politicians have better health care than Obama care. They don't want Obama care. They want to get elected and get the politicians health care and retirement package when they lose in the future. Put them on Social Security and I bet there will be less money spent on getting elected. The Pharisees didn't like Jesus in that day when he was walking this earth. He was upsetting their way of life. They wanted power and prestige. They couldn't fix their country any more than our leaders today can fix ours. But Jesus can fix our life the same as he did back then some 2000 plus years ago. We need a spiritual solution in our individual lives and in our country and our world today. If our country should collapse as some believe it will, all the benefits we look to our government for will be gone. If we have Jesus, he will still be there no matter what happens. We do not need Obama Care, but we do need Eternal Care thru Jesus Christ our Lord. Jesus died on a cross for you and me, to pay for our sins. He was buried and rose again. That is why we have hope for an eternity. I Corinthians 15. there will be a resurrection because Jesus lives today, and he can live in our hearts if we let him in. We win, we will be set for eternity if we let him in. God bless, LVZ.

What is Normal?

A few of my recent blogs have been about dysfunction in my family. One thing I realize is a dysfunctional family life is very normal or common place.  The dysfunction may be very different from family to family but it is still there. I had Pastors tell their stories and the dysfunction they came from. I have heard the stories of various church members and their dysfunctional upbringing. You can read in the Bible and if you look close enough you will see the dysfunction in the families in the Bible. Look at Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers. Joseph had a coat of many colors, and we may all remember that story. If you pay attention you will see his family was dysfunctional. I you read about Samuel the Prophet, you will see his mother being mistreated by the other wife of Samuel's father. You can read about David the King of Israel and his dad didn't even bring him to the Prophet when they were searching  for the one that God has chosen as a replacemant for King Saul. Parent do not choose to do wrong by their children, mostly they don't know any better. Oft times we do not realize how hurtful some of the things we say are. We don't realize how hurtful some of our actions are to a child. Simple little things like watching TV and being so interested in the program we are watching, we don't see the hurt we do to a child trying to pick that time to talk to us. We don't take a course to teach us how to be good parents before have children. Often we spend more time researching the next car we want to buy than we spend researching the other parent for our children. And the children suffer because of our dysfunction and they pass it on to their children also. I don't write about the dysfunction and hurt I have seen in my life just to get it off my chest or to get even. I write to point to a God who understands all about it. he healer of the nations. The healer of families. The scripture says he is the father to the fatherless. He is the defender of the widow. He is the one that is there for us when we face difficulties. No one understands our hurt like God does. I remember a time before I went thru my first divorce and hearing a Christian man talking about his hurt going thru a divorce he didn't want and I didn't understand. I am thinking; just suck it up and be a man. Then some time later I suffered hurt from several unfaithful wives and went thru divorce after divorce and I understood. I understood after I went thru the same pain. God understands, he has been thru it all. It doesn't matter what dysfunction or hurt you have suffered. I may not have suffered the same hurts, and even a husband or wife will not always understand the pain of their spouse. God does. He has helped people thru enormous difficulties since the beginning of time. He created our complex beings. He wrote the book on us. He saw us in the future before we were even born. He knows us so well, even the hair on our head is numbered. We lose a couple hair and he knows. He understands where we came from. A sparrow falls to the ground and he knows. The Bible says we are worth much more than those sparrows. God cares, he has seen it all and understands. It is just normal everyday stuff to God. He has seen it all since the beginning of time. He was there when Cain killed his brother Abel. He was there when the Prophet Samuel's mother was being mistreated. He was there when Hosea had an unfaithful wife. He saw when Joseph was sold into slavery. He was there when Jesus died on the cross for us, and the sky went dark. Whatever we may be facing is just normal everyday stuff to God, he understands.  God bless, LVZ.

Grace

I  really like the book I am reading. It has made a lot of sense so far. I read these stories and descriptions of dysfunction in families and I can identify. I certainly was raised in dysfunctional Christian home. I can see how this can hurt our view of God. The chapter I am currently reading is talking about Grace. I can probably give a definition of grace from my head. I have heard it preached, taught in Sunday School, read the Bible for myself. Grace is unmerited favor, we do not earn it. It is a free gift, we cannot work for it. The book is saying that many from dysfunctional Christian homes do not really understand grace at the living it level. Where the rubber meets the road so to speak. We were not loved unconditionally, many times religion was a means to control us or our behaviour. I can see this in my family of origin. One thought comes to mind one year at youth camp time in the 60's. My older brother had been working and had the money for those of us that were going to camp. He earned it, he had it and was going to pay our way. My older brother wouldn't give the money to Dad. Dad wouldn't take us. Dad wanted the money in his pocket or he wouldn't take us and he didn't. It was a standoff between older brother and Dad, neither one giving in, and none of us went to church camp that summer. I don't know if there was more to it than what I have written or not. We did not witness unconditional love, we did see control. These happenings in a dysfunctional family can hurt our view of God because of a dysfunctional parent. It can cloud our understanding of grace. How can we really understand the unconditional love of God (Grace), if we did not see it lived as well as preached. I see so many things that hurt us growing up because of the dysfunctional home. We get a wrong view of God and his unconditional love because of the dysfunction. You cannot earn God's love, you cannot receive it because you act right. It is truly freely given just as we are. Unless we really understand that at its deepest level, we do not see God as he really is. Do I this day really understand at its deepest level, GRACE? I see where I can still be hard on myself, when I have an accident as I did a few days ago. I was backing up to the door on the shed with the pickup. When I needed to hit the brake to stop, I actually hit the gas and left a skid mark on the ramp to the shed. How could I do this was my first thought. I know better, I can't believe I did this. I was so ashamed and hoped the neighbors didn't hear or see it happen.   I need to practice grace even to myself. It was an accident. My family still loves me, God still loves me. Anyone I told about this has not said one single time how could you do such a stupid thing. Grace, Grace, Grace. O, how we need to practice grace. Perhaps God allowed this accident to happen to increase my understanding of grace.  Unmerited favor, unconditional love no matter what we have done or where we come from. God bless, LVZ.

core values

1. Honesty
2. Forgiveness
3. Fidelity Faithfulness to obligations or duties
4. Giving - servitude.
Sometime back I came across the thought about core values for a Christian. The above 4 items seem to be things that should be a core value. There may be more and if I identify more I will add to this blog but for now I think these 4 values should be in the life of every Christian. Honesty seems to be a no brainer. I have discovered in my life that I wasn't as honest as I thought. I sometimes had subjective honesty or hold back part of the truth. Maybe I didn't out right lie, but by with holding some of the truth we can manipulate things our way. That is why I called it subjective. I think true honesty should be a core value and not just aspirational. Having a forgiving spirit should also be a core value. It is an absolute necessity. I have written several blogs on this subject. Fidelity is another area that I feel is a core value. Fidelity in marriage, faithfulness in obligations and duties. I don't think anything has hurt me as deeply as infidelity. Giving, who has ever been more giving than our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. We are to imitate him. I never thought of core values for a Christian until sometime back. I was familiar with the term, many companies including the one I worked for identified core values for their businesses. It seemed to make sense. Then why not core values for a Christian? There are issues we can disagree on between believers, but there are others that are fundamental to our faith and absolute like a forgiving spirit. I thought it would be easy to identify core values but I'm not sure my list is complete. One thing I am still pondering in my mind is resurrection. It is a belief that is also fundamental to our faith. Read I Corinthians 15; if there is no resurrection than our faith is in vain, we are still in our sins. Verse 19 says we are of all people most miserable if in this life only we have hope. But I still have not added it to the list, still thinking it thru.  It doesn't quite fit. We can be honest or dishonest, we can be forgiving or unforgiving, we can be faithful or unfaithful. we can be giving or selfish. Even though I feel, believing in the resurrection is a fundamental belief, it doesn't fit the same pattern. Can you be unresurrected? Even the unbelieving dead will be resurrected some day to face God. Maybe I just don't know how to explain it properly. Its a belief but not a value? God bless, LVZ.

The tongue is a heart gauge*

Pastor spoke on James chapter three. I thought it pertained well to my error of words a few blogs ago. The tongue is a gauge of what is in our hearts. It is a good thing to look at the heart when your tongue troubles you. There are several things I noted, one teachers have a greater responsibility for what they say. As verse 1 says "...we shall receive the greater condemnation." I believe this applies to me because I do talk about the scriptures a lot in my blog. In a way, I am a teacher. I need to be careful with my words. What is in our hearts will come out of our mouth. In verse 9 it talks about from the same mouth we bless God and curse men. This should not be. If our heart is full of God's love, that is what should be coming out of our mouth, off of our tongue. Verse 11 says "Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?" Our tongue is a difficult thing to control but it starts in the heart. I once read or heard that it takes 20 positives to counteract 1 negative. Negatives are powerful. I feel it is so easy for me to become negative. I have seen it over and over again, what is in our hearts comes out of our mouth. "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me," say Psalms 51:10.  Fill my heart with good things that what comes out of my mouth will encourage, lift up, bless others. The tongue really is a gauge of our heart. What comes out of our mouth comes from what is in our hearts. May I be a blessing. May I be an encourager. May I uplift someone. Let that be what fills my heart. God bless, LVZ.

Honesty

This thought is about a time in my life on the job when I tried to do what I thought was right. I was working on what we called Ship Side Support. We had jobs come to us from the factory workers to try and make the processes of building our product better or improve our drawings. There was a team of about 5 or 6 engineers. I realized my team members would hold jobs open after they were completed to make the work load look bigger than it was. This way our team leader would justify working the weekend for overtime. Then they would come in on the weekend and close out out these finished jobs. As I was looking thru the computer and I'd see a job was done, I'd close it out. To me to hold the jobs open to justify overtime was dishonest and I wouldn't do it. I would close out every job I found that was completed and I messed up the overtime other members on the team were expecting. I didn't last on this team. The team lead lied about me and said I wasn't doing what I was suppose to do. I was sent back to the main group in the office towers to what we called project. It upset me at the time because I knew why and I knew I was trying to do what my supervisor asked me to do. The supervisor asked me to work the freighter jobs first unless there were none. The other team members were grabbing the freighter jobs first and all I had left were the other jobs. I told the lead what the boss wanted me to do, but the lead told the boss that I was refusing to work freighter jobs. I was upset at the time because I knew what it was about. I was closing out jobs that were finished and messing up their overtime justification. I really was trying to be honest and ethical on the job, but sometimes that doesn't set well with others that feel it is OK to lie and cheat to justify their overtime. I got over it and realized some time later that while I was still working for the company, the lead was no longer employed by them. I don't know what happened but I suspect his lies eventually caught up with him.
Sometimes doing the right thing can cause us trouble in the short term but I believe in the long haul it pays off. I worked with a lot of others that took the high road as we used to call it, and it was a pleasure working with them. This ethics training that the company would give us every year was pretty much the same stuff I was taught in Sunday School as a child and on up. I found it interesting to see a company spend so much time and money on ethics training. On the other hand, I found even Church people sometimes felt it OK to fudge on taxes or other things. Other times I would try to find work when things were slow and I did what we would call a look ahead. It proved to be very beneficial to the company later on and at one time I received a $500 award. I was just trying to keep busy. One time on a salary job, I was in an office on Second shift by myself and when my work was finished I would find stacks of drawings that needed to be stamped. It was a job that was normally done by the office clerk. I was just trying to keep busy. The office clerks husband was an engineering supervisor, and she had told her husband about this Planner that was doing her work on Second shift. Sometime later this engineering supervisor needed more people and I was offered a job on his team.
Honesty has paid off for me more than once. Let your yea be yea and your nay a nay.  God bless, LVZ.

Errors

I read my posts to try and make sure I don't say things wrong and still I do (say things wrong , I mean). I know what I mean when I write them. Sometimes what I am thinking and what comes out on paper do not match. I really do not mean to be offensive. For example my last post, Jeremy cannot do anything, I meant do anything alone, without someone by his side. That is my perception and it seems the more I try to explain myself the worse it gets. I was putting 4 x 8 sheets of plywood on a ceiling. this is a difficult job to do by yourself. But I found a way. And I can do it. A friend stopped by to help and he did. He kept me from getting up and down the ladder for everything I needed. It was a great help. I wanted to say that I think Jeremy is the opposite. He probably would not try to find a way to do it himself, but enlist the help of others more easily than I would. When I reread my post, I certainly hoped he never reads it. It certainly came off sounding wrong and a lot different than I intended. I know that is not the first time I have written stuff that sounds very different than I intended. I really do like to write when I have a thought in mind, but I hate it when it comes out wrong. I think it takes a lot of experience to write and not make errors like that. I probably need to take some writing classes.  When you talk face to face you have a chance to see the expression on the other persons face and it will clue you in that something didn't come out right. But writing, you don't always know and maybe sometimes never when you made an error. I wrote a lot on the job after becoming a lead and tried very hard to be politically correct and non-offensive in the things I wrote. I would write and read, rewrite and read again trying to be o so careful, but it happens. I guess that is why in this world, we need to have a forgiving attitude, because sometimes we say or do things that are wrong and hurtful. I heard a minister one time tell how he would write his sermons down, very carefully and would read and rewrite and read again trying very hard to not be offensive. He would only read from the written sermon,  he would not stray from the written lines. He did not want to offend.  As hard as I try I still mess up at times. I do not want to offend in the things I write and I do try and read and correct things before I hit publish. In our society it seems to get harder and harder to say anything and not offend someone. I guess that might be why I feel more comfortable in writing in a blog. Its my opinion and people reading it are on my page. Some people probably don't care, but I do and do not want to offend because of a miswritten word. If I write something from the word of God and interpret it correctly, that's OK, because if I have carefully divided the word of God and it cuts someone, that is what it is suppose to do. I do not want to offend because of poorly chosen words.  If God's word convicts, that's OK.  God bless, LVZ.

I see a need*

We are influenced by our family of origin maybe more than we realize. We relate to others sometimes as dictated to us by our parents. I have been considered a quiet person most of my life. Our parents didn't have time to interact with us. There were older kids and younger kids to take up their time. There was making a living to provide for us, both parents working. I seemed to have gotten the work ethic very well. That's all I saw. I learned to entertain myself and I think I am still what most would consider a loner. I see a lot of people don't hardly do anything without others, a friend, a relative whatever. I noticed I still feel very comfortable going on a road trip by myself. I don't have to answer to anyone, I can stop when  I want to, etc. I don't like to plan, I just like to go, especially someplace I haven't been.  I have had good friends, but I think it is hard for me to build a good friendship. I think the fact that I moved so much growing up, eight different towns and schools during 12 years of public school has hindered me in making friends. I was always the new kid. I saw something different in Jeremy when he was younger and still at home. He always had to talk and be around others, he couldn't do anything himself. What I mean is alone, he always had to be with someone, totally the opposite of me.  I think he is still the same today. I still feel very comfortable doing things alone. Working with others requires people's skills and understanding. Everyone does not think like me and do things like me. I think I still have the same difficulties today. I tried very hard to keep my kids in the same area while they were growing up and for the most part, I succeeded. I believe this home of origin had a hand in forming me the way I am. I didn't need constant supervision, I could figure out how to do things on my own. Even as an adult I could work in an office all by myself and keep myself busy. Others would have a hard time with that and need interaction if not help to be comfortable. I saw it at work a lot, others couldn't go to lunch by themselves, they always needed someone to go with them. So I wonder if my social skills are not as good as they could have been. I know intellectually I need others, I need friends. We need a church family, immediate family, neighbors, etc. I see a lot of people at church that are friends with others, also in the neighborhood, I see them being very friendly. I see Barbara interact with her friends much better than I do. I see this as a lack in my life. I think I would be much healthier if I had a better friend base. I think that is why it was so easy for me to move so far away from family and why it was so hard for Barbara to move to the west coast. If she hadn't had two sisters in the Tacoma area and gotten along so good with my family, she couldn't have made it. This is something I have prayed about because while I understand why I am the way I am, I would be much healthier with a better friend base. Even when people reach out to me, I think I still have a hard time developing friendship relationships. Most friends have been people that reached out to me. I think in particular Wash Garrett who has since gone home to be with Jesus. He was the one that initiated and kept that friendship going. Virgil, another person I use to consider a good friend, we are so many miles apart, it is hard to maintain that over a long distance. God says to cast all our cares on him and this is one I am giving to him. Because I believe there is a lack in my life in this area. Even in my 8 years at Eastside, I don't feel I made a lasting friendship. Wash and Virgil were both good friends based on a church I was going to at that time. I feel that is where I need to concentrate my efforts. I believe in the Church and Church family, especially when I am so far from my family of origin. I also believe God understands me better than I understand me, so I look to him. The Bible tells us to cast all our cares on him. Even this, because he saw me from the beginning. He saw every move, he understands why I am here where I am. I don't think a true friend is someone who only comes around when he needs something. I had a friend like that at work.  I believe this is an actual need in my life and I give it to God. God bless, LVZ.

Watching every move

A few days ago when Elijah was here, I realized how closely he watched me. When I would go to my recliner to sit down as I was descending into my chair I would kind of groan a little. Awwwh, just some little noise. I don't know why I did it and wasn't even aware that I was doing it. But I did it every time and Elijah noticed it and said something about it. Why do you do that Papa? That is how closely young children watch and learn from us at that age. Elijah is almost 5. Every time I see him he wants to wrestle with his Papa. I am too old and I wish his Daddy could understand what I understand. Elijah really needs his Daddy in his life. His Big Daddy and Papa are not very good substitutes for his real Daddy. But we do the best we can. I remember when Callia was but a toddler, and I would go up there to spend some time with Gio and Callia. I would barely get there and Callia would be in my arms. In a few minutes her head would be on my shoulder and she would take a nap.
Later after her nap was over, I would take Gio and Callia to the park to play. Children need their Daddies, they need both parents but it is more often that the Daddy is removed from the home. I had a mother who had addiction problems tell me she did the best thing she could for her children when she gave them up to family members to care for them. I said no, the best thing you could have done is straighten out you life and take care of them yourself. Children need both parents, they really do. I believe it is epidemic proportions the number of children that are separated from one or both parents in our day. Some thru death as my great niece and nephew, some thru divorce, some because a child was born out of wedlock and the father never had any intention of being there. Some thru the addiction of a parent that can not care for them because of their poor personal choices. But take a look around, at church, in the neighborhood, any place you go and you will find so many kids that are missing one or both real parents. I once wrote them down in a book, everytime I met one. There must have been fifty plus names in a short time. This is probably one of the biggest reasons our country is in trouble. Our children need both parents, one father and one mother, raising them to be independent and able to take care of themselves when they are grown. When a parent is absent from child's life they leave a permanent scar. Children need someone they can imitate. They are watching every move. They need both parents, but we have so many babies born out of wedlock and the parents do not always work it out and get together. I had a lady one time want me to father a child for her, no ties, no responsibilities after the fact. I could not do that, I have seen the harm done by absent fathers and I cannot willingly participate. I would need to be in a childs life. O that each child could have a father and mother that imitate Christ, that they in turn could imitate. Our world would be a better place.  God Bless, LVZ.

Discrimination

Someone commented to me that I must have never faced discrimination. I think that is mostly true. I had written a blog about God not changing, being constant. I remember a time I was looking at a house to rent with my 2nd wife who was black and the landlord took me thru the house but when my wife showed up, she did not take her thru the house. But does it matter? At least pertaining to that particular subject? What should change the heart of God? Should what we want to consume on our desires change the heart of God? We look at instructions to slaves in the Bible, how they should treat their masters and how masters should treat their slaves.  I do not think God was pro-slavery.  I think the Bible was giving advise on how to live in the current times, the current political values. I don't think my beliefs amount to discrimination. I want to interpret the word of God correctly. If I am incorrect, I pray God will change my thinking. We must not show respect of persons. I do know that is wrong. We must not mistreat another human being. Does that mean we have to rewrite the Bible? We didn't have to rewrite the Bible to free slaves, or give Blacks the same rights as others. My view is, Homosexuality is not much different than adultery or fornication. If God calls it sin, it is sin. Have I sinned? Yes. Is there anyone on this earth past or present that did not sin? Yes, Jesus Christ. That is it, everyone else sinned. I don't think my view on this is all that important. It is God we stand before someday. We can change laws to accommodate the gay community, but does it change how God is going to look at it on judgement day? This is not the first subject I have change my views on.  I do know that God is a just God and he will be fair and just on that day.  Even if we view homosexuality as a sin, and I do believe that is Biblical, we should not mistreat gays. We do not or should not mistreat an Adulterer either. I feel the gay community would like to rewrite the Bible or at least reinterpret the word effeminate in the King James version of the Bible. The amplified version of the Bible says "those who participate in homosexuality. There are so many words that we come to disagreements on in the Bible, why else would there be so many different denominations? Yet we all stand before God some day, and that in my view is what is really going to matter. Not the laws of this country, not my political views, they will not matter at all. There is safety for mankind in the Biblical view if it be homosexuality or adultery. What have you done with Jesus? Now that will matter on that day. This is my blog and my view. May I be like Christ in the way I present what I think in this blog. If I am not correct or Christ like, forgive me.   God bless, LVZ.

Right and Wrong

In this book I am reading Growing up Holy and Wholly it is talking about teaching right and wrong as a basic belief in healthy families. I believe in this area I was taught a lot of good stuff. Telling the truth, treating others fairly, and being conscientious in work are a part of this basic family value. One thing I recall that maybe wasn't in line with this concept was: I bought a used car from someone one time and they offered to write me a bill of sale for $100 instead of the $500 I actually paid. This was a Christian man I was dealing with and I told him no, just write it for the correct amount. The difference in taxes on $100 or $500 is not going to save me a lot. I also wanted to be honest. Another gray area I remember was as a youth we would read chapters in the Bible for our youth group. The goal was 28 chapters a week. We would be trying to catch up on our reading before youth service, and my friend suggested we take turns reading out loud and count the chapters the other person is reading as well because we would be listening. I didn't feel I could go along with this and only counted the chapters I actually read. I don't remember what he did, if he counted both what I read and what he read or not.  A lot of people seemed to feel it was OK to be a little dishonest if it was the government getting the taxes. Or in the case of my friend, stretching the truth a little. These concepts are easier to fudge a little on when we see our Christian parents crossing the line a little. This is an important thing to be teaching in the Christian home. As an adult I lied to my fourth wife's family once when she had just got home and didn't want to deal with them. She asked me to say she wasn't there and I did. Just a few seconds later she decided to call them anyway and I was caught in my lie.  Being conscientious about these little things is a good thing, especially when we are trying to teach right and wrong to our families. God bless, LVZ.

I change not

In Malachi 3:6 it says "For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed."  Attitudes in our country change. We had a period of Prohibition, we are going thru a period where states are legalizing marijuana, homosexual marriages and other things. Politics change from Liberal attitudes to Conservative attitudes and back. I think of all the flack people get from a liberal media and the homosexual community when someone quotes a Bible verse like I Corinthians 6:9, like Phil Robertson. I think the gays in this country would like to rewrite the Bible if they could and they may. I have heard that it is a hate crime to quote a Bible verse like I Corinthians 6:9 and explain that verse in a manner that is not favorable to homosexuals in Canada. The verse I quoted at the start of this blog says God does not change. He is constant thru changing times. Someday all will stand before a just God to answer for their life. We can rewrite the Bible, we can rewrite our laws and do everything we want to change society the way we want it to be. Will it change God or his view on these important subjects? I think not. God does not change with changing times, he is constant. God bless, LVZ.

feeling down

As I was praying this morning, I told God, I am feeling down. I'm not sure why I said , but as I thought about it, I'm sure it is because of yesterdays accident. I was going to read in the Bible and I thought I was turning to I Corinthians but I had turned to II Corinthians the 12th chapter. My eyes hadn't totally focused. In the 9th verse "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I know we are to give thanks in all things, but it seems ridiculous to try and find something good in the bad that happens.  Yesterdays accident and that is all it was, just an accident. God strength is there for us when we are weak.  We don't have to understand everything and I don't. This year is not starting off very well. the other weekend, the oven element went out and then the pipe was leaking on Sunday morning when I got up. I heard water running in the middle of the night. Then I get that temporarily fixed and the dryer quit heating. All were minor things and easily fixed. And now I banged up the back of the pickup and the front side of the shed. But I could have made the same error some place besides home and hit someone else or somebody else's property. I am thankful that it was at home where this accident happened. God's grace is sufficient when we go thru things. It is still minor thing, just a tail gate and hinges. It is drivable, I haven't lost the use of a vehicle. God's grace is sufficient for all we go thru. And we all do go thru things, every day is not going to be a good day. Would we appreciate the good days if every day was perfect. Yesterday was 65 degrees, just a beautiful day, and I appreciated the sunshine in spite of the accident. If it was anyone else I'd say it was just an accident. God bless, LVZ.

Is this a sign of aging or what?*

I have seen the insurance commercial where the guy waves at a neighbor just as he is about to back out of the driveway and goes forward into the garage. Occasionally you hear on the news where some little old lady hit the gas instead of the brake and slams into a bank or a store.  Today was my turn. I was backing up to the shed to clean out some stuff. I made a nice ramp up to the door, wide enough for the pickup. Just as I needed to hit the brake when I was close enough, I hit the gas. I moved the shed about 2 inches, pushed the door of the shed in and broke lumber on both sides of the door. Smashed the tailgate on the pickup. It happened to be down, and now it will not close. One tail light lens is cracked. I hate to think this is a sign of aging but I do not know what else to attribute it to. Sure made a bummer out of this day. I was able to fix the shed good enough to be able to lock it. However, the truck may need a new tailgate if not more. The hinges on both sides are bent and I do not know if I can straighten the supporting hardware enough to attach new hinges and tailgate and make it work. Give thanks in all things. It could have been worse, I know. But what can I learn from this? It just happened. Tolerance for others' mistakes? I don't know. I guess I can be thankful that the door was not wide enough for the tailgate. I was centered pretty well but if the door on the shed had been about four inches wider and I would have damaged the bed on the truck when I went thru the door. It is a pretty day outside, 64 degrees and sunny. I guess I'll just be thankful for another day on earth, trouble and all.  God bless, LVZ. 

What does God think?

It seems so many people coming under fire for comments they make about the gay and lesbian community in our country. I do know that I was defriended on Face book by at least one individual because I quoted some verses from the Bible and stated what I think. I don't think it matters much what I or others think. If we come off as anti-gay it really doesn't matter much. It does matter what God thinks. If it is as some of us think the Bible says, the gay and lesbian community are the ones that need to be worried. God loves people, he knocks on their hearts door trying to come into their lives. He takes all just as they are, there are no bargaining points. If your are an Adulterer, you come just as you are. If you steal, you come just as you are. If the Bible be true and I believe it is, then Homosexuality is a sin as are other things like respect of persons, stealing, murder, adultery, Idolatry and the list can go on. God does not create us as gay any more than he creates us as an adulterer. It is choices we make in life that get us there. That is my belief and I would probably be called a bigot for it. It doesn't matter what I think, I have been wrong before. It does matter what God thinks. You can interpret the Bible any way you want, rewrite it if you want. God is still in control and it does matter what he thinks. When we stand before God do you think he will look at LVZ's revised version of the Bible or what he inspired in the beginning? He is God. We do need to treat people with respect and dignity. It is not OK to mistreat a gay person anymore than it is any other sinful person. We may not agree with abortion, but that does not make it right to kill the abortion doctor. We may not agree with homosexuality, but we still answer to God if we mistreat his children. All I really want to say it does matter what God says on this subject. God wrote or at least inspired others to write the book. There are many things that people thing differently about that probably will not matter. Do we go to church or Sunday or Saturday? I think it will matter to God that we assemble together, not so much what day of the week.  When we interpret the scriptures are we trying to find God's view or understand his thinking?  If we are trying to get society to OK something that God does not agree with, what good will it do if we are successful? At the end of our days, we will still stand before God. God loves all people, he hates sin. For that reason Christ went to the cross, for people, all people. For all who would believe on him. What does God think? That is what society needs to line up with. What does God think?  John 3:16 is a good place to start to find out. I hope to be in line with God.     God bless, LVZ.

Do Everything in Love

As I was reading in the word this morning I read I Corinthians 16:14 "Do everything in love." This is not the shortest verse in the Bible but only 4 words long. It does say a lot. When we discipline children / grandchildren. Do it in love. Let our motivations in the things we do, do it out of love. As I blog, may my motivation be driven of love for those that read my words. As I help those we ask for help, may the motivation be out of love for fellow mankind. The decisions we make, may they be motivated by love. I believe we get to this state by allowing the love of God to flow thru us. No man has  a greater love than to lay down his life for others. I did not look this up, just quoted from memory. Jesus did just that he gave his very life on the cross at Calvary for us. Jesus was motivated by love, he could have called 10,000 angels but he willingly and guiltless gave his life for us, that we could have eternal life. The 15th chapter talks about the resurrection of the dead that we look for. Jesus gave his life out of love for us, but he did not stay in the grave. He rose up, power over death.
Do everything in love, may we be filled with God's love. God bless, LVZ.

Service to Others

As I continue to read in my book it is talking about service to others, which is something you will hear in most religions. Most churches I have belonged to had some sort of outreach to help others less fortunate. The author is saying this teaches that people and relationships are more important than money and possessions. I wonder if the teaching I received in this area was suspect. I worked an awful lot of overtime in my working days. The Bible does teach us to be content with what we have. I remember Dad coming home from work and putting us to work as well. It didn't seem to matter what we wanted to do, especially if it was play. He worked hard but I don't remember much fun stuff. A counselor asked one time if my Dad or Uncle had ever just taken me to get a coke or anything, and I could not remember one time. I am afraid with my actions I pretty much taught the same thing to my children. Dad went hunting but he never took us boys. He went fishing but after my little brother almost drowned once, he didn't take us fishing anymore. I do not remember Dad playing with us ever. I remember him coming home from work and working on an old car in the garage. I remember him coming home and cutting fire wood or yard work or some kind of work. Even at 5 years old, I remember his digging  a basement under the house we were living in with a shovel.  I don't remember fun stuff, I really don't. So I do think my training in this area was not the best. I remember as a young man being asked to be a best man at a friends wedding and I said I couldn't do it. I really didn't understand how important this was in my twenties, and wish I could go back. I made some excuse about not being able to get the time off from work.  Not being a suit person, I knew I'd need to dress up. Someone should have told me how important this was. A well connected family would have advised me that I really needed to do this. This did not show that people and relationships are more important than money and possessions.  I hope I am doing better today than I did at that time.  I still have trouble pulling myself away from working on the house to go to Eli's games. When he is here, and following me around, I am trying to work and have him help me pick up nails or something a 4 year old can do.  As I think about this I am continuing the dysfunction  even to today. God help me. Now that is something to really think about. I am my fathers son. God bless, LVZ. 

A Tainted View*

I grew up in a supposedly Christian home. It was a legalistic environment at best. Christianity is supposed to be the best thing that ever happens to us and it is. The home that I grew up in was dysfunctional, abusive, and I learned some bad traits. But my saving grace was also being a Christian. My parents believed in God and took us to church, mostly it was the legalistic denomination we were raised in. In spite of the dysfunction, in spite of an abusive father, I learned some good things. Somehow the idea of a relationship with God came thru. That relationship has and still does straighten out some of my erroneous ideas and beliefs. I created a home for my children that also was dysfunctional. I realize I am not the only player in that dysfunction but I do realize I had a major part in it. If God in his continual shaping of me can and does fix things in me, I believe he can and will do the same for my children. The longer I live the more I realize, I am not the only one that was raised in a dysfunctional home. I have experienced a prayer-answering God. Sometimes I was amazed at how quickly he answered. Sometimes I am actually surprised by how thoroughly he answered prayer. Sometimes it has taken hindsight for me to see his moving in my life.  I had a tainted view of so many things, including marriage. My parents didn't have a marriage you could copy. Most things you would have to throw away and start over from scratch.  But as a result of being in church, I actually saw a marriage in another couple that could be copied. After my fourth divorce, I still tried again and I thank God for the woman he gave me. I had a tainted view of what church should be, but in spite of that, I was able to grow and found a church of imperfect people just like me. More than once I have moved to a new community and prayed about a Church to attend and God has answered. I would find a group of imperfect people like me, and you know what? I would like to be more like them. How does God do this? I have seen it over and over again. He takes a dysfunctional alcoholic or drug addict or whatever and makes a productive citizen out of them.  I think he made me into a pretty fair person considering where I came from. Tainted views and all God takes us just as we are and shapes us like clay on a potters wheel. Any fixes in my life, any improvements I credit to God working and molding me as he sees fit. I listen to peoples stories and hear where God brought them from. I see them today and think I'd like to be more like them.   Many of these people grew up in a dysfunctional home like me and they are beautiful people today. Some times it just amazes me what God does in peoples lives. I didn't have a very good view of self, never felt all that ambitious yet God moved me from one job to another and then I was an engineer and never even thought I could be. Then as an engineer, I never thought I'd be a lead and there I was a lead. Imagine what God could do if we had started out with a positive outlook on life. My life is not perfect by any means, but when I see what God has done in my life and where he brought me from and I think it happened because I trusted my life to him. And it wasn't a complete trust either, I think I had a hard time trusting a Father figure. God just works with what we give him, what I am I am because of God. Tainted views and all, God takes us just as we are, and with the washing of water by the word (Ephesians 5:26), he changes us into something useful and beautiful. God bless, LVZ.

12 Baskets Full

In Matthew 14:20 " And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full." This story starts off with five loaves and two fishes. When you read down a bit you see there were about 5,000 men plus women and children. The people were hungry and the disciples were going to send the people away into the nearby towns to get food. Jesus had been moving among the crowd healing their sick and it was getting on toward evening. This is an actual event. This is not something we need to explain with some sort of logic. It is an event recorded in the Bible just like the Red Sea crossing. Supernatural event but this was the same Jesus blessing the food.Jesus was present when the universe and all creation were spoken into existence. It was there for our learning. To learn what? That Jesus can supply our needs. Many times our needs are less dramatic than this event. God wants us to trust him. God wants us to call on him for our needs. I remember a Deacon at a Church one time got up to announce that there was food prepared after the service in the Multipurpose room for an afternoon program. He went on to say if you are not planning to stay for the afternoon program don't stay for the food. There will not be enough for everyone. I thought he needs to read his Bible and know that God can multiply our little to take care of the need. God wants us to trust him. There are some times when I too have doubts and want to depend on what I can see. God has multiplied the little resources people have multiple times. The widow woman in I kings 17. Then again another multitude of 4,000 men plus women and children in  Matthew 15. I don't think it is any different today, the disciples had seen what Jesus could do in chapter 14, yet a few days later with more food and less people than the first time. Jesus blessed the food again and there were seven baskets full left over. God wants us to trust him. These are events that happened in Jesus day so we could learn to trust him for our needs. I am in a situation where I need to trust him. I do not see my way clear but I believe God wants me to trust him for my need.  God bless, LVZ.

Holy and Wholly

I am in the process of reading a book, "Growing up Holy & Wholly" by Donald E. Sloat. I find it very interesting and you might guess, may have been part of the reason for my last blog Dysfunction.
Part of my reason for the last blog also is because of dysfunction I see in others and myself. I don't want to come off overly critical of the past and the way I was raised but I do want to be honest about it as I write and think about it. As I am reading in this book I came across a list giving some healthy family traits that I would like to list as I continue. The book gave credit to Delores Curran for these lists. Basic beliefs (spiritual values) Provide a shared religious core. Teach a sense of right and wrong. Value service to others. Admit to problems and seek help for them. Now here we go, I don't think my parents would actually admit to problems or seek help for them. As for shared religious core; I'm not sure what shared would mean. We went to church, sometimes all 9 of the family packed like sardines into a 1963 pickup truck. All of us on the one bench seat. This was before the day of 4 door pickups. Well, we shared personal space for sure. I do believe we were taught a sense of right and wrong. Interpersonal Relationships: Promote a sense of trust. Affirm and support all members. Foster communication and listening. Teach respect for others. Respect the privacy of one another. Here I believe our family failed big time. I don't think they promoted a sense of trust. I don't think they affirmed and supported all members. They definitely did not foster communication and listening. I believe I came away with a belief that I had no right to say anything. And I still think I am hindered in this area today when talking about difficult subjects with someone of an opposing view point. As for respect for others and the privacy of one another, that was a big failure. I remember having to hide any money I earned as a child or it would be taken from me. I remember creating a hidden pocket in my coat to hide my money. I remember working for two summers, all summer long and at the end of the summer my uncle would write my dad a check for the whole summer. I saw my uncle write the check and that was the last I saw of it. I remember coming home from school as a teenager and a letter I received from a girlfriend had already been opened and read before I got there. This was not a one time thing but an everyday occurrence for all of us children. If I used a vehicle when I was old enough to drive it was straight to work and straight home. There was no trust beyond that. I did have some friends that helped me and allowed me to get mail at their house. I have a younger brother that managed to get a post office box  and as my young son used to call it a pissed off box.  I think we did terrible in the area of Interpersonal Relationships. This home life did create problems for us as adults and so I think this book has merit to continue reading. Enough for now. God bless, LVZ.

Dysfunction

Dysfunction: Abnormal or impaired functioning. As I think about this as I was raised in what I would call a dysfunctional home. As children we learn methods of coping. The parents we had and the parents we were, did the best they knew. I learned that I wasn't the only one or our family wasn't the only one. So the first word in the dictionary to explain dysfunction is Abnormal and it doesn't seem to fit, because in reality there are many, many, many dysfunctional homes. So is dysfunction abnormal? Impaired functioning seems to fit. I tried the best I knew in raising my children, but here I was from a dysfunctional Christian home. I had learned coping skills to survive in my home I grew up in. I believe my saving grace  was knowing God and having a relationship with Jesus. I couldn't talk at home but I could talk to him. Even as a very young boy of 5 or 6, I had learned to talk to God about  problems. Even in Christian homes there is impaired functioning and it messes us up. Sometimes it is about control, or appearances. I needed someone to guide me and bring me up in the real world and I lacked proper parental guidance in my home. I brought many of those traits into my own home with my own children. It was that relationship with God the creator of us all that allowed me or guided me to fix some of my thinking. I could talk, I can discuss issues now. But for much of my life I could not and kept stuff bottled up. The legalistic environment was difficult for me, perfection was taught but I knew I wasn't perfect and I saw my flaws. The concern about appearances over reality played into this. But God and my relationship with him has brought me a long ways. I learned I could talk to God about my flaws and he understood better than any parent I couldn't talk to. God was gracious and kind, his sole purpose in working in my life was totally for my betterment. He doesn't worry about appearances, or what people might think, he is God. He is trust worthy, he has my best interests at heart. We can look at how he dealt with dysfunctional people in the Bible and he brought them thru in victory. Joseph's brothers threw him into a pit, sold him into slavery and he became second in authority over the whole land of Egypt.  Then there was King David before he became King. His dad didn't even consider him when he brought his sons before the prophet. Yet he became King. We can talk about Abraham and Sarah, and how Sarah gave her maidservant to her husband for a second wife that she could have children thru her maid. It wasn't God's plan and it didn't work. But God still came thru in her old age.  Impaired functioning is all over and yet God would work with people and bring his will to pass. Abnormal just doesn't fit, it seems to be almost normal it is so widespread. I was not alone, my family is not the only one that was messed up. In fact look at Adam and Eve and their children,  it started a long time ago.  I have that assurance today, God will work in my life and bring his will to pass. I am so thankful for this relationship with God. I can trust him to fix it, what ever it is, and God has my best interest at heart. He is gracious and kind and over looked my fault and saw my need, like the song says. O loving God, thank you for being in my life and working in me even to today. God bless, LVZ.  

No Magic in the Oil

There is no magic in the oil said the Elder when he prayed for one of the men in our small group. One of the men is facing surgery this week. We prayed for the man that God would heal his shoulder, either supernaturally or thru the doctors and hospital however God chooses. The Elder read James 5:14 "Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church: and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15. And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him." Then the Elder said I have this little bottle of oil. It is just plain ordinary oil, there is no magic in the oil. We do this in obedience to this scripture, where is says anointing him with oil. The elder anointed his head with oil and we prayed. Those words caught my attention: there is no magic in the oil. It is true, I have never been taught there is anything special about the oil. It is an act of obedience to this scripture and prayer asking  God to move. If any healing happens it is because God touched, God moved on behalf of this man. God guides the hands of the surgeon, God gives the knowledge to the Doctor and surgeon to accomplish the healing. All knowledge comes from God. If healing happens, God does it, there is no magic in the oil. God bless, LVZ.

The Night of My Salvation

I remember the night of my salvation.
When Jesus came and touched me once again.
I was hurting and so full of confusion,
But Jesus came and touched me once again.

I had become disillusioned.
Christians were just hypocrites to me.
A root of bitterness had grown in my heart.
It was killing the life out of me.

I remember the night of my salvation.
When Jesus came and touched me once again.
I was hurting and so full of confusion,
But Jesus came and touched me once again.

I had thought to never step inside,
the door of a church again.
I took a ride to a mountain top,
intending to end it all there that day.

I remember the night of my salvation.
When Jesus came and touched me once again.
I was hurting and so full of confusion,
But Jesus came and touched me once again.

A Preacher from Texas came,
to preach a sermon one night.
His words were as follows:
As best I can recollect:

Someday you'll stand before God
To give an account of your life.
God will not ask, who hurt you.
But simply, what have you done with Jesus?

I remember the night of my salvation.
When Jesus came and touched me once again.
I was hurting and so full of confusion,
But Jesus came and touched me once again.

He took the hurts and confusion away.
As I knelt at that altar to pray.
I left tear stains on that altar that night.
Never would I be the same again.

I remember the night of my salvation.
When Jesus came and touched me once again.
I was hurting and so full of confusion,
But Jesus came and touched me once again.



God Bless, LVZ.

30 years ago

30 years ago in January 1984 I recommitted my life to God. I had walked away, I had allowed a root of bitterness to grow up in my heart. I hadn't darkened the doors of a church in a few years. I felt Christians were hypocrites and I had no reason to go. My first Father-in-Law called me that Sunday in January 1984 and asked if I'd bring his daughter to sing at Church that evening. I said I would, and thought to myself I can sit thru another church service, no big deal. My Father-in-Law had a minister there holding a revival, his name was Mike Mathis. He was from Texas. After the preliminaries were over Mike got up to speak. Mike knew me a little, he knew I used to go to Church but quit. As near as I can recollect, Mike said something like this from the pulpit. "Leon, some day you will stand before God to give an account for your life. God is not going to ask - who hurt you? Who did this or that? The only question God will ask is - What have you done with Jesus? It touched my heart that night, God seems to know how to reach us. I came to the alter that night and repented of my sins. God always seems to know our soft spot and how to reach us. My life has not been perfect since then, many has been the time I have repented again of this or that sin. But God has never left me even thru the bad times. Since then I suffered infidelity in marriage and went thru 4 divorces. God has been there all the way. I made bad decisions, and God was still there. My life has never been the same. I do not regret making that choice to return to God that night in January 1984. That is almost 1/2 of my life ago. There are many things I wish I could do differently even in the past year, but God is still with me, molding me and shaping me as he sees fit. God uses every hurt for my best. I may be a slow learner, but God is patient with me. I thank him for all he has done for me. I am truly blessed because of that night 30 years ago.  God bless,  LVZ.

Love VS Lust*

Love
is of God
can wait
is selfless
is giving
is righteous
is moral
is patient
restores

Lust
is of the world
must have it now
is selfish
is taking
is sinful
is immoral
is anxious
destroys

This was written down from a message by Charles Stanley many years ago.  It was in the back of one of my Bibles that are falling apart. I need a new Bible.  I have three Bibles that are literally falling apart.  Time to break in a new one.  God bless, LVZ.

Three Crosses

On my face book page I have a background picture from Groom Texas. Three Crosses representing Christ death on the Cross. His payment for our sins. I was talking to someone a while back and I mentioned that Christ was the only leader of a religion that died on a cross for us. This person stated that there were two other men, one on either side of Jesus that also died that day. That is true but Jesus was innocent of any crime. Those other two men were guilty and knew it. Jesus was innocent and knew it. He went willingly to pay for our sins. He could have called Angels to rescue him that day but he didn't. He was obedient even to his death on that cross. One of the other men made fun of Jesus as they hung on their crosses, but the third rebuked his fellow criminal and said we are here because of our crimes. Jesus is innocent. He asked Jesus to remember him and Jesus looked back and said this day you will be with me in Paradise. Jesus has the power to forgive sins, that makes him different. God bless, LVZ.

for life

I had a key ring that fit on my little finger. I have big fingers, my ring finger is size 14. As I was looking at this key ring I had slipped onto my little finger, I thought about the other ring I wear. A wedding band. It is a complete circle, no end to it. It is intended to represent what a marriage is suppose to be, for life. Until Death do part is the marriage vow I said the 4 times I got married. Then I also went thru divorce 4 times. That split key ring was a fitting reminder, there is not suppose to be a split. God's perfect plan is one woman, one man until death do part. I found four other key rings the same size to represent the four times I failed. Sometimes we learn a lot from our failures. They were good people, each one of them, created by God in his image. Jenie had a lot of talent, musically. For a time she used it for God. Jean was very pretty, smart, and a bible student, loved to teach children, loved to host Bible Studies. Penny was a pretty young thing, I met her at MLK Memorial Baptist Church. Linda was another pretty young thing and won my heart at that time. Loved each of these, but between their dysfunction and my own we split. I think it could have worked out if neither side had quit.  I could tell stories about each one and at times, I have. They too could tell stories, I realize I also had dysfunction that they had to deal with. Each of them is a creation of God and special to God. I look back and understand why I was attracted to each of them. I think each one of them should have been for the rest of my life. When one person in a marriage quits it is over. It takes both parties working at it to make it work. Infidelity in a marriage hurts worse than  anything else I have experience. One man, one woman for life is God's perfect plan for marriage. I failed, God forgives. It is said God never wastes a hurt, and I believe that. Sure I suffered hurt in those relationships, so did they. I hope they will forgive me for my failings as well. I hope to see each of them in heaven someday. Four split rings on my finger, no room for more, I have been blessed with another good woman, may I be the right man for her for better or worse until death do part.Maybe I have learned enough from my past failures to make this last a lifetime. I certainly am blessed. Proverbs 19:14 " Houses and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but  a wise, understanding and prudent wife is from the Lord". Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a (true) wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord". Taken from The Amplified Bible.  God bless, LVZ.

Elijah again*

I think I was ready for Elijah to go home. I did enjoy my time with him but he does not want me out of his sight for even a moment. It is hard to get anything done. He wants to imitate everything I do. There are some things I don't want him to copy just yet. Like lighting matches to burn trash. I tried to sneak away and 10 seconds later there he is. He needs that man figure in his life, he really does. But if there are any takeaways from this experience, I'd like to point out to any noncustodial Dad's, that is what it is like for a Mom who is raising a kid without a Dad in the house to help. It is difficult. They are underfoot all the time. I think Elijah's Mom probably got a much-needed break at my expense more than Barbara's :) He didn't mind Barbara being out of sight but not me. I was trying to light fireworks and it was breezy and it kept blowing my match out. Elijah (a four-year-old wanted to show me how). Anyway, I finally shielded the match like when liting a cigarette and burned my hand when the fireworks did ignite. This four-year-old thinks he knows everything. I should have let him. Not really.  I did finally tell him a couple of times, I tell you what to do, you do not tell me what to do.
You are only 4 years old. He gets on my nerves, let me tell you. Last summer I explained to him when his grandmother bought him a water squirt gun. I have the water hose, if you shoot me with that I will shoot you with this hose and I have much more firepower. I think he learned that Papa means what he says or is just plain mean. He got really wet. It doesn't matter if I am trying to paint or shovel gravel, he wants to do what I am doing. He is really a great little guy and I really miss my grandkids. I miss him being underfoot.
God bless, LVZ.

2014*

A new year, what will it hold for me? I am not one that makes new years resolutions. As I write in my blog I hope to be clear in my writing that a child could understand what I am saying. I think of Preachers that I like to listen to and I understand what they are saying. Charles Stanley is one of my favorites, as is David Jeremiah. Sometimes I also listen to Joel Osteen, even he has stated he is more of a motivational speaker. Bill Wolfson is another Pastor I try to listen to each sermon. Then here at home at Hope Church our own Scooter Noland. Each of these seems to explain what they are saying in such a way it makes sense to me. Some people I read and I wonder what is it they are saying. I believe the gospel was intended to be simple so anyone would have the opportunity to accept Christ. I think the salvation doctrine we hear over and over is simple and meant to be. These are learned men that have much more education than I have but still make it easy to understand. I read some things on Facebook and I think it sounds religious but I still have to think it thru.  These men challenge me in my relationship, I do not feel challenged if I do not understand what is being said. It is important to evaluate what we take in as our spiritual food. It should be spiritually nutritious and not spiritual junk food. I do like to blog, I do want to write in a clear easily understood manner. I do want to be scripturally accurate, rightly dividing the word of truth as the Bible says. I do not want to be offensive and I sometimes feel that I am. I want to be honest and open. Sometimes as I write about past experiences there may be another person involved in what I write about. I do not want to put someone else down but simply want to tell my side of the story. There are always two sides to a coin.
I sometimes write about the failures in previous marriages and would feel bad if my writings were to defame those partners. I am sure each of them has experienced some of my failings and dysfunction. As I look back I certainly can see areas I failed in and could have done better. I also still have good relationships with family members of previous spouses and do not want to hurt those relationships. It is not always easy to write about a situation or something I learned or experience and keep it totally positive. We learn from our mistakes more than we learn from our successes. I remember a time during my first year in an engineering group. I thought I had learned the set of drawings and how to design the electrical wiring for this system very well. I had six months of experience when my trainer took a six-month leave of absence. He recommended me to take over his task. The first customer I did a set of drawings for, I messed up big time. I spent the next three months correcting my errors, but I learned what I thought I already knew in a manner that I never had trouble again. I really did learn more from my errors on that first customer set of drawings than the previous 6 months. I really understood those drawings from that point on. I think it is that way in life also. I think I have learned much more from failing then I have learned in just living. I still do not like to fail. Perhaps there is a bit of perfectionism in me. Also, it is normal to want to do things right. If we make errors, lets at least learn from them. I feel I am succeeding in this marriage after 4 failures. I do feel I learned from the past.  God intends marriage to be for life, one man and one woman. Could I have learned the same things in a previous marriage, sure but it takes sticking with it thru thick and thin and a willing partner who also is committed? When one person thinks it is over, it's over. I guess as I start to write I ramble on and probably get off the subject. I do want to blog and be open, honest, and clear about what I write. When talking about scripture, I want to be accurate in interpretation but not offensive if it can be avoided. I don't want to burn any bridges with the past except the ones that need to be burned. People are important and I do not want to offend but to encourage. I do want to point to a God who never leaves us and always has our best interest at heart. I believe a relationship with God has been the most correcting influence in my life. For that I am thankful, I think I am a better person than I was 50+ years ago. God continues to show areas that need correcting in my life and I hope to be better this year than last. God bless, LVZ.