A Tainted View*

I grew up in a supposedly Christian home. It was a legalistic environment at best. Christianity is supposed to be the best thing that ever happens to us and it is. The home that I grew up in was dysfunctional, abusive, and I learned some bad traits. But my saving grace was also being a Christian. My parents believed in God and took us to church, mostly it was the legalistic denomination we were raised in. In spite of the dysfunction, in spite of an abusive father, I learned some good things. Somehow the idea of a relationship with God came thru. That relationship has and still does straighten out some of my erroneous ideas and beliefs. I created a home for my children that also was dysfunctional. I realize I am not the only player in that dysfunction but I do realize I had a major part in it. If God in his continual shaping of me can and does fix things in me, I believe he can and will do the same for my children. The longer I live the more I realize, I am not the only one that was raised in a dysfunctional home. I have experienced a prayer-answering God. Sometimes I was amazed at how quickly he answered. Sometimes I am actually surprised by how thoroughly he answered prayer. Sometimes it has taken hindsight for me to see his moving in my life.  I had a tainted view of so many things, including marriage. My parents didn't have a marriage you could copy. Most things you would have to throw away and start over from scratch.  But as a result of being in church, I actually saw a marriage in another couple that could be copied. After my fourth divorce, I still tried again and I thank God for the woman he gave me. I had a tainted view of what church should be, but in spite of that, I was able to grow and found a church of imperfect people just like me. More than once I have moved to a new community and prayed about a Church to attend and God has answered. I would find a group of imperfect people like me, and you know what? I would like to be more like them. How does God do this? I have seen it over and over again. He takes a dysfunctional alcoholic or drug addict or whatever and makes a productive citizen out of them.  I think he made me into a pretty fair person considering where I came from. Tainted views and all God takes us just as we are and shapes us like clay on a potters wheel. Any fixes in my life, any improvements I credit to God working and molding me as he sees fit. I listen to peoples stories and hear where God brought them from. I see them today and think I'd like to be more like them.   Many of these people grew up in a dysfunctional home like me and they are beautiful people today. Some times it just amazes me what God does in peoples lives. I didn't have a very good view of self, never felt all that ambitious yet God moved me from one job to another and then I was an engineer and never even thought I could be. Then as an engineer, I never thought I'd be a lead and there I was a lead. Imagine what God could do if we had started out with a positive outlook on life. My life is not perfect by any means, but when I see what God has done in my life and where he brought me from and I think it happened because I trusted my life to him. And it wasn't a complete trust either, I think I had a hard time trusting a Father figure. God just works with what we give him, what I am I am because of God. Tainted views and all, God takes us just as we are, and with the washing of water by the word (Ephesians 5:26), he changes us into something useful and beautiful. God bless, LVZ.