Christians

So how does a Christian walk through this life? We are imperfect and scripture tells us all have sinned. If we say we have not sinned we are lying. My most difficult years were those growing up in a Church that taught we had to be perfect, and I wasn't and I knew it. Many times I look at myself and writing this blog, I think I must really come off as self righteous. I talk about the word and God's ways and yet I know I am imperfect. I look to God's word for guidance. If I see an area I don't measure up to, I pray and ask God for help. Often we see imperfections in others and lest we criticize let us remember God's word to take the beam out of our own eye before we try and take the mote out of our brothers eye. I try and read something from God's word every day. I pray for family, Church, country, those that are sick and weak, and lastly myself. These are habits I deliberately formed. I don't want them to just be habits, I want relationship with the God of this universe that can and does change hearts. Yes, I have tried to form some habits in my life. I recognize that I need God and reading his word is part of how God speaks to us. Praying is talking to God. We are relational beings. We love to talk and converse with others. We need to talk to God and we need to listen. We need to reflect on what God is saying to me.  I do know I do not have it all together, I don't have all the answers, but I seek relationship with God who does know all and does have the answers. Part of that relationship is showing up at God's house. God does speak to us through his word as we read it, but sometimes God speaks to us through the preaching and teaching of his word at his house.  Going to Church does not make you a Christian, it takes a heart change. Some of the worst examples we have had have been those going to church every Sunday. But it is those that are sick that need a physician. We all are sin sick and need a savior. We live in what we use to call a Christian nation, but take note as we have walked away from God, what is happening in our nation. We don't respect others, law enforcement, teachers, ministers and the list can go on. Have things gotten better as we walked in our own way? As we have taken prayer out of school, take down religious symbols and ten commandment monuments and perhaps even crosses as they remind and point to a sovereign God. We hear of disasters, fire, flood, hurricanes, tornadoes, what has happened? Perhaps we should ask, is it working? How well is it working? Perhaps we need to once again seek guidance from the God of this universe. That is what Christians are. They are not perfect, they struggle, they hurt just like any one else but they seek guidance and direction from their Father in Heaven and follow to the best of their ability. Christians are not perfect, they will make mistakes, but they are covered. Their sins have been forgiven and they walk on. Still trying, still walking, still praying. Even when not every prayer is answered the way they want, they still trust God that yes, God is still in control and he is still working in our hearts, and in our world. Ultimate healing is not in this world, it is in eternity. We have an eternal goal in mind. Yes there are blessings and good things in this life, but the ultimate goal is not to be found in this present world, it is in the here after. If in this life only we have hope, we are of all men most miserable. There are eternal consequences to the way we live here below.  If I am wrong, and it ends up there is no eternity, tell me what have I lost?  I have tried to live the best life I know as a Christian here below. What have I lost by trusting and believing in God? God bless, LVZ.

Hiding Place

I love this picture, a deer hiding in grass. Part of their natural defense given to them by God. I saw this deer as I was driving along and I don't know how I knew but I felt this deer was going to lay down. I quickly tried to take note of the approximate location and pulled over to the side of the road and got out my camera. I was able to find her and snap this picture.

You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah. Psalm 32:7

You are my hiding place and my shield; I wait for Your word. Psalm 119:114

Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. Psalm 17:8

For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; In the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock. Psalm 27:5
You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues. Psalm 31:20

Hide me from the secret counsel of evildoers, From the tumult of those who do iniquity,

Psalm 64:2

Deliver me, O LORD, from my enemies; I take refuge in You.  Psalm 143:9

Each will be like a refuge from the wind And a shelter from the storm, Like streams of water in a dry country, Like the shade of a huge rock in a parched land. Isaiah 32:2
For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. Psalm 61:3
God is to us a God of deliverances; And to GOD the Lord belong escapes from death. Psalm 68:20
Normally I would have just settled on one scripture above but I just didn't feel like choosing. Is God our hiding place? Do we seek him to deliver us from our enemies? Many years ago Someone at work said something that really hurt me. I don't remember what it was. I looked for a place to be alone and went to the bathroom and found a stall and quietly prayed to God. As I was talking to my Pastor at a later date about what had happened, he said: Did you see what you did? You ran to God? I don't know of anyone who gets through this life without being hurt at some time. A relative, a friend, an acquaintance, a boss; and the list can go on. Where do we go when life hurts us?  I learned to go to God. We can hide in his grace, when we sin we can ask forgiveness. When we hurt others and we will, we can ask forgiveness. We can hide in God. In the day of trouble he will hide me. From the conspiracies of man, God will hide us and keep us. Some one once said God is a crutch, I say give me two crutches. God is a tower of strength against the enemy.  We can be the apple of his eye. Like the mother hen that saw the prairie fire approaching, she calls her baby chicks and they hide under her wings. The prairie fire sweeps over them and the mother hen dies, but she saved her chicks. God will protect and keep us under his wings. God is my hiding place. God bless, LVZ.

We Forget

I have no idea what this is or where it was taken. It is in my picture file on this computer but I absolutely don't remember taking it.
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11
We seem to have forgotten God in our land. We do not realize or remember all that God has done. I have made it a habit in my life to pray and read something in God's word that I don't forget my God. I pray for children and Grandchildren, I pray for brothers and sisters. I pray for the broken relationships. Just like I have forgotten where this picture was taken, many seem to have forgotten God and don't realize they need him. My daughter was in an accident this week. No harm, to her or the vehicle and I thank God. I thought of the many prayers prayed for her. Someone recently said our prayers are stored up in heaven in a vile and when they are needed they are poured out to cover the need. Much like I do, Papa Johns would pray daily for his children and Grandchildren. I imagine some of those prayers are still stored up even though he is gone off the scene into heaven.  Our memories are short lived, we don't remember and often are not even aware of the protecting hand of God on our lives. In this nation we have forgotten God and his laws. The evil in this land simply amazes me and it is because we have forgotten God. Over the Christmas Holliday there was a twitter storm over the Trump daughters posting pictures of their Christmas celebration. They wouldn't have mattered two years ago, but because Donald was elected President, they are ridiculed for doing the same as so many others in this country do. We have forgotten God. Almost daily we hear something negative about our President. 91% negative reporting on our President and he is doing a good job. He has the welfare of this country on his mind. You may disagree with his policies as we have for years with other Presidents. Remember the ridicule of Trickle down economics, when Reagan was President, yet we felt the effect of his administration. The ridicule of other president. It is evil, yet we can speak good about those that have actually harmed this country. It is a sin sickness at the root of our problems in this country. We have forgotten God. One day we will stand before him and we will not be measured on a scale to see if our good deeds outweighed our bad. We will be judged by what have we done with Jesus. Has a relationship with Jesus altered our lives. We do not have to live in the past, we can have a heart change. I think of the many years I have waited for my son to get over his hurt towards me because I am not his real Dad, but I realize the enemy of his soul has grown a root of bitterness in his heart and it will not be fixed on its own with time, his heart needs to be altered by the God of this universe. We have forgotten God and it alters our hearts in a negative way. The only cure is a heart change from God dwelling in us. Our world, our country is sick, we need God. We have forgotten him and the blessings he has bestowed on this nation. We are still the greatest nation this world has ever seen. The NFL kneelers are free to do their protests, as ill advised as they are because they live in this country. Try something like that in North Korea. God has blessed this nation above any other in recent history, but we have forgotten God. Try tweeting evil words and disrespecting the leader of North Korea. We have forgotten God. We desperately need him in this country and in our hearts. God help us, LVZ. 

The Law And The Prophets

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.  Matthew 7:12 
I was talking with someone and the Golden Rule was mentioned and it goes something like this, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  And it is scriptural per Matthew 7:12. I mentioned I know it is in the Bible but I don't remember where. So I looked it up. You reap what you sow. As Charles Stanley would say, you reap later than you sow, you reap more than you sow. And so it is. What is in your heart comes out of your mouth.  You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34.       Woe to the wicked! It shall be ill with him, for what his hands have dealt out shall be done to him. Isaiah 3:11  A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, And the deeds of a man's hands will return to him. Proverbs 12:14.  He that gives to the poor lends to the Lord. and so many more words we could add to this blog. God says this is the law. We will reap what we sow. If we do good to others we will reap good. If we do evil we will reap evil.  I have thought about this many times, and once I remember praying, God why this evil harvest as I saw marriage after marriage fall apart. I tried sowing good seed. I asked God could I start reaping some of the good that I have tried to sow. I have done some bad stuff in my life and I reaped more than I sowed, as Charles Stanley says. This is something to keep in mind as we go through life, Do unto others as you wish them to do unto you. God bless, LVZ.  This is the Law and the Prophets.

Family

I want to connect with family. In this picture there are 15 deer. I did not see number 15 until I used it as the background on my computer. Some say 12, some say thirteen, I said 14 until this morning. If you look at the feet of the deer that is eating grass by the rear legs there is a deer laying down behind it. On the far right deer you can see just the head of another deer. To the left of that deer is another one laying on the grass, and you can see about half of its head. When you try to take a family picture it is always hard to get everyone to cooperate and stand still. In this picture it seems several are hiding and one chooses to show it's back side. God blessed us with the family we have in real life. It seems there are always difficulties among family members. As I went through this Christmas season I did some soul searching and asked God to show me and look in my heart. I don't connect very well. As a child with so many brothers and sisters, I think I tended to be a loner, probably like the deer towards the right that you can only see the head. We each have gifts and weak spots. God did not make any mistakes. Forgiveness is a core value of a Christian and actually it is a core value for life. To live the best life possible, to forgive others is essential. I know I am a very opinionated person, and I am free to share those opinions. I believe I come off as self righteous to many as I talk about God and what he means to me. I am what I am only by the grace of God. I have chosen a path trying to follow God to the best of my abilities. I am not perfect. I step on toes. I try to understand God's word and how it applies to me. I think sometimes as I think through these things and write about them I can be offensive. I have never lived a perfect life and anyone that knows me has seen the weak spots. I ask if there are any hurts that are harbored in our hearts against other family members that we would forgive. Holding unforgiveness in our hearts is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It kills us. When I look to God's word there is nothing that we do not need to forgive. No hurt to big that we do not need to forgive. Not only that God says if we do not forgive neither will our heavenly father forgive us. I am thankful for the brothers and sisters God gave me. I hope you are too. This year coming up forgive any and all hurts. It makes it possible to live the best life possible.  Which deer do you identify with? Can you find all fifteen? This picture makes me think of family, may we live the best life possible in forgiveness this year.  God bless, LVZ.

Walk In His Paths

and many peoples shall come, and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
and that we may walk in his paths.”
For out of Zion shall go forth the law,
and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. Isaiah 2:3

As I look at this passage, and that we may walk in his ways catches my eye. We live in a dangerous world today. The reason I feel that way is because I'm not sure the majority feel we need a moral compass. But we do. The Ten Commandments were given to help us develop that moral compass. They give us God's instruction on how to behave in life. Our culture is moving away from believing the Ten Commandments are even necessary. We  take them down from public properties. Abortion which is murder of the not yet born, those that are not capable of defending themselves. We have seen a rash of harassment accusations against prominent people in Media, Government, entertainment, Sports. This touches on two commandments: You shall not commit adultery and you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. We are being bombarded daily with the new morality where adultery is common place and accepted. Sex was designed by God for marriage. Out side of marriage it violates his ways, his commands. But it is acceptable in our society especially before marriage. We have seen all these people coming out with harassment accusations and many times when these charges are 40 years old and against a person of a political party we do not agree with, we wonder if they are true. These men are not being considered innocent until proven guilty. They are charged and condemned. That is where bearing false witness comes in. When it comes to politics, people will slander to support their cause feeling the end justifies the means. This is dangerous. What if it happens to you. If this becomes the norm, any of us can be destroyed because we have lost our moral compass. We have the technology today to duplicate a face and a voice and can make digital representations of people doing things and saying things that are not true. It is much better than the cutting and splicing tapes of old. There will be no way to tell if it is fake. I tell this story again where a woman in the office I worked in when George Bush was running for reelection and one of the major news channels ran a story against him with forged National Guard papers. Used to discredit George Bush. This woman didn't feel there was anything wrong with this because they were trying to keep Bush from winning. Bearing False Witness seems to be OK anymore to win politically.  This is dangerous, this person did not have a moral compass to guide her thinking. If this technology is used against someone, we will not be able to prove it is forged or fake. We can believe a lie and not know it. The commandments were given to guide us in life to live the best life possible. As this gets widespread it will be used against both sides, and who will we believe. We need a moral compass. Even if you think it is just about being a Christian, when no one or very few have a moral compass, it can be used against you. In business, in relationships, in all your interactions in society, with no moral compass what is going to guide us when what we want and desire is what will guide us and we can use any means to get it. We are seeing each of these commandments being shoved aside in our society today. As they are put aside, it will be very hard to live peaceable lives. Think about it each commandment supports a just and peaceful society. I believe it was in Chicago when a relative of a young man got shot robbing a store, a relative felt is was wrong that he was shot and killed, because how was he suppose to get his money, he didn't have a job. I know that was an extreme case but adultery use to be extreme as did abortion and bearing false witness. Today they are used on demand as we desire. We need a moral compass for society to survive. You may not feel it is so bad until it touches you in some manner. God help us, LVZ. 

Let me list some ways this lack of a moral compass has been used in various ways that I am aware of:
Adultery, a spouse cheats on you. You hire a contractor, and one of his workers decides he wants a new tool. He adds it to the bill of materials hoping his boss doesn't notice and pays for his new tool. It happened to me, they didn't know I was paying the materials and their wages each week. I spoke of this plan in front of me. Bearing false witness, I told above of the forged national guard papers, although it didn't affect me directly it was used against the candidate I supported. How about a person that has eight abortions, that is birth control.  I remember buying a car for $500 and the seller said he would write me a bill of sale for $100 to help me on the sales tax. On a job, I had co-workers that would keep jobs open until Friday to justify overtime and then spend Saturday and Sunday closing jobs that could have been closed various days through out the week. Closing them on Saturday and Sunday to justify overtime that was not needed. Working on home projects and neglecting to get your real work done while getting paid to do it.  We need a moral compass. Think about it, these are just a few of the things I thought of. 

His Kingdom Rules Over All

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,and his kingdom rules over all. Psalm 103:15-19

Sometimes I feel I am too harsh as I blog about my feelings. God is gracious and kind to us. Earlier in Chapter 103, God tells us our sins are removed as far as the east is from the west. We humans have trouble forgetting, at least I do. God's throne is established in the heavens and his love is everlasting. I hear people some time talk about the fear of the Lord and their understanding of fear may not be correct. Fear of the Lord is meant to be a healthy respect. God is not someone we need to hide from, we just need to respect and honor him. The best way to honor his is the way we live our lives in honesty and in integrity. He is a sovereign God and he does rule over all. I have asked God to search my heart, and I have expressed some hurts in recent blogs. Know that God loves us just as we are. He does try and correct us if we live for him. God does mold and shape us if we allow him to. God is to be respected not feared in the sense we use fear today. Fear is not like we are walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night. But knowing there is a God that has our best interests at heart. We can trust him with our hurts and disappointments. He has the ability to heal. Why he doesn't heal instantly every time we call, I cannot answer. He is sovereign and knows what is best. I know of a lady in our community that had a stroke a couple of years ago. She walked into the hospital relatively healthy for a procedure and came out a victim of a stroke. I believe God is trying to work on her attitude. Don't know but I do know she wants to be healed completely and is not happy without being 100% like she was before she went to the hospital. I know of a cousin that had a stroke at age 48 and still does as much as he can and seems to live a happy life. This woman is unhappy, my cousin seems to be relatively happy. I am sure he would also like to be 100% but is content with the life God has given him. I do know God is more interested in our character than our comfort. I do remember when I was 19 and cut my eye with a screwdriver. I wanted instant healing and prayed and asked others to pray for me. MY eye is ok today and I am thankful, but God did not come down and instantly heal me. I had to go on living what ever life throws at me. God is sovereign and I cannot see and do not understand every thing he does. I do know he loves his children and does what is best for us. Sometimes he may be working on character issues in our lives. I thank him for our President, I don't understand everything that is happening, but I do believe God is in charge and is working on hearts and lives. Ultimate healing will be reached in Heaven, until then I hope to be content what he gives me. God bless, LVZ, 

A Sinful Nation

Woe to the sinful nation,

a people whose guilt is great,

a brood of evildoers,

children given to corruption!

They have forsaken the Lord;

they have spurned the Holy One of Israel

and turned their backs on him.

Isaiah 1:4
If you read in Isaiah talking about God's chosen people, it sounds like it could be talking about our nation. I sinful nation that puts political correctness over God's word. We hear of everyone getting on the harassment bandwagon. It exposes the depth of corruption in our nation. We do not value the Ten Commandments and we have really strayed. Abortion is a choice, we make fun of peoples infidelity, its OK to bear false witness if we have a political motive in mind. Do we honor parents anymore? Many of the TV shows we watch, make fun of men who are to be the leaders of our homes. We legitimize the gay lifestyle contrary to the word of God. I saw a nativity scene with two Josephs and the baby Jesus. Our corruption is great. 91% of the news we hear on the major channels about our President is negative. We do not honor our leaders anymore. What about our police, we falsely accuse them to gain a political purpose.  We have allowed this corruption in our hearts and lives. We call evil good, and good evil. This nation requires a heart change. We need to practice forgiveness. We have the technology to fake peoples faces and voices and make them say and do anything we desire to discredit them. The technology is there and if we don't have a moral compass guiding us, where will this lead us? If it is a political party you disagree with you may think it is OK. But what happens when it is used against you or the things you believe in, will it be OK then? What standard we use will be used against us. The fixing of our nation is going to require a heart change in individual people. When we as a people will stand against corruption when it is used against others as well as ourselves, we will see healing. It will not happen without a heart change in us. We must develop a respect for the Commandments again, we must consider others as important as ourselves. We must forgive. We cannot be forgiven if we do not forgive. To hold unforgiveness in our hearts is like drinking poison  and expecting the other person to die. I know family members that have been deeply hurt, their hurts are legitimate, they were wronged. But that hurt, that debt that the person the hurt us, has not been paid and they have harbored it in their hearts for 5 years and even 50 years. Drink a little bit of poison for 50 years, and do you think it will not have an effect on you. Unforgiveness destroys. Political correctness destroys, walking away from God not only brings on judgement in the next life, but destroys what could have been good in this life. God created us, his rules work for the best life possible. Does your thinking compare with the one that makes the world turn, the universe works. Planets stay in orbit because God designed it so. He knows us and what works and don't work. We need to return to God, this life is short and then eternity comes and there are only two choices for eternity. God help us. LVZ.

Changes

This morning as I write I don't have any particular scripture I want to talk about. I read James 1. I thought back this morning as I was praying to the changes God has made in my life over the years. I don't understand every thing God has taken me through. I remember how hard it was for me to leave the Church of God of Prophecy when I was in my 30's. But I believe it was God that worked a change in my life. I was stuck on that particular church. I had been raised in it all my life. I was taught and felt like it was the true church. So when I started to attend a non-denominational church down the road from me at Sisco Heights Community Church, I literally felt like I was going against God. It took me about 4 years to feel comfortable going to some place other than the Church of God of Prophecy, it was so ingrained in me. But I believe it was a change God was orchestrating in my life. My dependence, my loyalty needed to be to God himself and not to a particular church or organization. But I see the same loyalty in others today, it is to a church or organization as a substitute of God. It feels right and it may even look right, but is our real allegiance to God himself. Our allegiance needs to be to God and God alone. I remember going through my first divorce and I look back and I wonder once again what God was doing. It was then that I a white man started to date Black women. I remember the very first black woman I dated in 1993. That relationship really didn't progress. then again as I was attending a large white church in Everett WA, I met another Black woman at a Bible study I was attending. We dated and got married about six months later.  It was during this marriage that I started attending a Black Church. Jean had asked me to pray about where to attend church, so we could join and become a part of a church body. There were several places we attended, Bethel Baptist, Meadowdale Baptist Church, Bethany Christian Assembly, and Second Baptist. We had met at Northshore Christian Church.  As I was praying about this issue, I read Ephesians 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  I thought how do I apply this scripture to my life in this situation. We had visited Second Baptist several times and a Deacon at that church had given Jean away at our wedding. Jean had two aunts that also attended Second Baptist. I thought this is her culture, and even some of her family attends this church. In thinking on this scripture that is how I apply it to my life. We attend a Black Church, Second Baptist Church. When Jean asked me if I had prayed and decided on a church I said yes. She asked, what church? I said Second Baptist. She said, How in the hell can you pick Second Baptist?  anyway we attended Second Baptist for about 4 years. I remember at the beginning, how out of place I felt, a white dot in a Black congregation. That church was always full with little extra seating. I realize now God was affecting a change in my life somewhat similar to the change when I left the Church of God of Prophecy, but different. My dependence needed to be on God and not a white or black church. As I now live in the south, Mississippi to be exact, I think I see better now what God was doing in my life. There is no partiality with God. He created one race. But I see the same struggles I went through in other peoples lives. Denomination and Race. God wants our dependency to be on him and him alone. Those were some difficult changes in my life and it took a lot of time and a lot of relationships to get me to where I am today. Jenie, Esther Allen, Jean Thomas, Joanie Miller, Missy, Roberta Jackson, Kim Hunter, Penny Jenkins, Ondie McCullough, Linda Jones, Robin Tucker, Catherine Cannon and then I married Barbara. It was a struggle but I think I finally learned even in relationships to trust God. I think also of the many Churches I attended during those tumulus times from the Church of God of Prophecy, Sisco Heights, Northshore, Life Center, Bethel Baptist, Meadowdale Baptist, Bethany Christian Assembly, Second Baptist, Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Baptist Church, Lampstand Ministries, Brightstar Community Baptist Church, Eastside Baptist Church, CFAN (Church for all Nations), Spring Hill Missionary Baptist, Cross Pointe Ministries and probably and few others in between. Now here I am at Hope Church Tupelo for five years and married to Barbara for over ten years now. God was doing a work in my life and I felt like sometimes I came through it kicking and screaming. But God needs to be the one we depend on for everything. I am still learning, but God shows up at a lot of different Churches. God created the human race, not Black, White, Red, Brown, or in between.  My hope and my trust needs to be in God alone. I am thankful where God has brought me to today.  I could tell you a lot of stories how God protected me and brought me through all this mess. Our lives can be very messy but God still loves us. God loves each and every one. I think back and what a mess I was, but God went through it all with me.  I remember praying many years ago, help me to keep a tender heart, let no root of bitterness develop in me. I look back at what I have just written and I think what a mess, but God still loved me through it all. In addition to all this I have probably had 40 or more addresses.  You'd think I was running from the law. God bless, LVZ. 

Christmas

Christmases are hard for me. I see families together, following traditions. Baking cookies, exchanging gifts, laughing and talking and enjoying children and Grandchildren.  I have fought an uphill battle just to communicate. I hear the sermon about busted relationships and how God can heal. I think why not mine? I hear of reaping what you sowed, where did I sow this? When my Dad was sick, I tried to help him. I would leave my job it seemed at least once a week, sometimes twice to take him to a doctors appointment. It would take a good 4 hours or more out of my work day to do this. Do I use up every bit of sick leave and vacation to do this. I was very blessed with a job and a boss that would allow me to make up my time, after I came back to work.  I didn't have perfect parents. They made some big mistakes in raising us. I made some mistakes. But I keep asking myself where did I sow such bad seed? I raised a kid that wasn't my seed. I knew that going in. But I thought it is not that kids fault. I accepted him as mine, never ever wanted to tell him there was another man that had a relationship with your Mom before we were married and you are a product of that relationship. I saw a toddler just a few minutes ago came up and gave me a high five and went merrily on his way. How do you tell some little toddler like that, your not mine? Mine was just like that growing up. Do you wait until you give him his first car at 16 and say, O by the way, I am not your real Dad.  Why was I Ok when his truck broke down near Spokane and he needed a $600 tow but the tow truck driver would not hook him up unless he had a credit card number. He called, I gave him my credit card number. When he needed a breath analyzer contraption on his truck to be able to drive, I helped him. When his pickup got totaled while he was away at work and didn't have no transportation, I gave him my best Samurai. What did I do in between times to be the worst parent ever to walk the face of the earth? I remember the days when we played cars in the dirt in the back yard. I remember washing the blue VW and he would help with the water hose.  I remember the tree house I built on the five acres. I remember the camouflage material we had put on the wall of his bedroom when we had a new house built. I remember coming home from work when I was barely 21 years old and fall asleep on the couch with him on my chest sound asleep.  When did I suddenly become the worst parent in the world that at age 43 he cannot talk to me anymore. What heinous crime did I commit? I didn't tell him I wasn't his real father, I lied to him.  When was the time to tell him? If it had been up to me he would not know to this day! If I don't tell something that is not necessary to say, does that make me a liar?  I have prayed and searched my heart. I do not know what I did wrong. It hurts to this day, if I didn't love him it wouldn't hurt at all. But I know I love him because it does hurt. It has hurt for a lot of years.  Then there is fathers day and it is the same thing. No acknowledgement for all the clothes I put on his back, the roof over his head, the food in his stomach, The cars I bought and gave to him. The bicycles, the trike, the green machine. What did I do to reap this bitter harvest? Blessed be the name of the Lord, LVZ.

Search Me

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24
I have been trying to look into my heart. This scripture says to see if there be any grievous way in me and in 2 Chronicles 7:14 it says to turn from their wicked ways.  Then in Romans; If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Romans 12:18  So I just blogged about humility and where humility is there is peace. The reason I am trying to look inside is because I know there is conflict between me and others.  I pray about it and I know it is never just one persons fault. God help me to see my part in this. I want to write letters but I am afraid I come off as self righteous. I want to own my part and nothing more. I have asked God to search my heart, and two names come up. Were my words harsh? Was I out of line with the things I said? If I find fault, it would be in this, did it need to be said? In one case I say yes, it needed to be said. When I look at my son, I wonder where did I go wrong? Should I have spoke out, you are not really my son, you are a product of your mother and some other man. That don't even sound right, yet because I tried to raise him as my own, he feels I lied to him. I have brought this to God. I tried to be a father to a child that was not my seed. Now that he is old, he will not talk to me. I lied to him because I never told him I wasn't his real Dad. That is a whole subject in itself, what makes one a Dad? Is it the one that raises you, puts food in your mouth by bringing home the bacon and putting a roof over your head. Disciplining and trying to teach you right from wrong. Putting clothes on your back. Making you go to school. But because I didn't plant the seed and didn't tell him it was some other man, I lied? What was more important, 18 years of clothes, food, shelter, discipline, instruction or saying I did not plant the seed?  Does planting the seed make you a Dad, if you are not there ever in their lives? What have I done that banishes me to a state of an evil person that is not worthy of respect after raising a kid his whole growing up years.  Honestly, it hurts. Did I sow this in my past? where? Was I too harsh in discipline, join the club, what child alive today does not think that? And sometimes it is true.  I look around me and I see better parents and I see worse. I saw a child raised without a father ever in her life. No one bought her clothes, No one made her go to school.  Her Grand mother said in front of her I do not want you. I know of a parent that was passed out stoned drunk or on drugs and could not hear her children crying, because she was passed out. I hear recently of a sophomore in a local school, playing basketball and his feet were coming out of his shoes. He is the oldest of 11 siblings and his mother is in the hospital. Is there a Dad in the picture, I have no idea. I know of another young man, raised by grandparents, going to his first year of college about 50 miles from here. His Grandmother wrecked his car, totaled it. Then the grandparents moved to Texas, leaving him in college, with no transportation, and where does he go when the school shuts down for the holiday. Yes it hurts when I think, I raised this kid as my own and loved him as if he were mine. He was, because I raised him. Search my heart o God, what have I done wrong? God bless, LVZ. 

Humility

I feel that humility is underrated. I remember a saying I heard in a Black Church, it is a sorry dog that don't wag his own tail. That saying is not scriptural. You will find in the Bible where we are to value others above ourselves. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3. I heard something the other day,
where humility is there is unity, where there is conflict there is pride. In the verse I have quoted many times over the last few years, especially during the last election cycle, the word humility shows up. 2 Chronicles 7:14; if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, there it is again. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 1 Peter 5:6.  What really caught my attention is where there is conflict there is PRIDE. We have conflict in our family, in our nation, and in our world. There is pride. We all know the saying Pride comes before a fall. The other thing that struck me, where there is humility, there is unity. When we consider others significant, even more significant than ourselves, conflict can be resolved. That requires humility. I have never liked that word humility. I remember hearing the story about a preacher that would crawl to the pulpit to preach to show his humility. That was not humility. He was prideful in thinking he was showing his humility. My first Father-in-law would start his prayers, "Heavenly Father, we come to you as humbly as we know how". Or something like that. I wasn't sure I liked that at the time but I think as I watched his life, I think it was sincere. I really think he meant it but acknowledge that often we don't see ourselves as we really are. So as humbly as I know how is starting to make sense. He wanted to come to God in humbleness of heart. I think of the story told of my Father-in-law in his later years; he was a minister of the gospel and as such he never retired. He retired from trimming and climbing trees, although he did climb a tree on his 80th birthday to show he could still do it. But back to the story, in his later years as he was walking with a walker, he would go to the hospital with his walker to visit the sick. One person told of laying in the hospital bed and hearing this metallic sound coming down the hallway. Soon they knew what that sound was, here was Papa Johns walking with his walker to visit the sick. He could have stayed home, who would fault him, he was on a walker after all. But to serve his God and consider others more important than yourselves, he visited in the hospital with his walker. Now I think I understand as humbly as we know how. I imagine he has quite a mansion in Heaven now. He served others to the end. But I keep thinking about where there is humility there is unity. When we consider others important, the scripture says above ourselves, wouldn't that take care of a lot of conflict in our world?  How about our families? If you really look at this closely, when you see conflict don't you always find pride nearby? Think about it, where there is conflict, there is pride, where there is humility there is unity and peace. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18.  I think humility is required, I think humility is underrated. God help me and God bless, LVZ.

Judging

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5
In Sunday School we have been looking at hypocrites. We looked at this passage above. People that study these things say this is the most quotes verse of scripture today. Some years ago, it used to be John 3:16.  Nobody wants to be judged, they want to live the way they live and do not judge them. Does this verse really say do not judge. Perhaps we are to judge ourselves. Perhaps we are to be careful when we judge because the same measure we judge with will be used against us. If you read further down we are to look at fruit people bear in their lives and judge them by the fruit they show in their lives. The Bible is the standard to live by. We do not change the standard to accommodate sin. We are to live by the Bible. We don't change the standard to live by because we now live in the 2000's verses living in the 1600's, 1700's. The standard, God's word does not change. We live in a day when there is much politically correctness, but some of that politically correctness is not God's way. We don't look at abortion through politically correctness, but what does God say through his word. We don't look at same sex life style through the politically correctness of today but through God's word. The standard does not change, though years pass, though governments change. We need to take an inward look. that is what this verse is saying when it talks about a log in our own eye. When we look inwardly to check if we are living by God's standards ourselves then we can see clearly to address an issue in someone else's life. We are to meet God's standards. Yes if we are not living by God's standards, if we do not obey God's ways in our own life, we would be a hypocrite. We measure this with the fact that all have sinned. We first need to look inward. Sinful lives are against God. What I see in our country today with people coming out about sexual abuse has a political motive to it. I do not see a heart change.  With sin their is a turning away from our sins towards God. We need as a country to turn to God. We cannot fix sin in our lives, in our country without God's help. If there are those that are bearing false witness, let it be known that also is a commandment as well as do not commit adultery. That also does damage to our lives and our country. Nuff said, we need to look inside to see if we are living by God's standards. God bless, LVZ.  

Walking East

So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:35 
Once again I am looking at forgiveness. 
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18
I believe forgiveness to be a core value of being a Christian, but I am thankful for Romans 12:18
Sometimes it is beyond our control. In my reading this morning I read Matthew chapter 18.The whole chapter talks about forgiveness. Forgiving others heals me, it doesn't do anything for the other person but it heals me. It keeps me from developing a root of bitterness in my heart. I root of bitterness will color your whole life. Forgiving will make right your heart and your life. Forgiveness is a heart issue and if I understand this chapter at all, not forgiving others, puts us in a state of being unforgiven of our sins. Our sins have been against God. We live in a fallen world, all around us we hear of unforgiveness. I was hurt thirty years ago by so and so and I want vengeance.  I want them to pay. It is called unforgiveness in our hearts and our lives. It will destroy us, if not in this life, then in eternity. So as I look at me this morning, I see two major areas of discord in my life. I have a brother that will not speak to me. At my mothers funeral I tried to speak to him and he would not even say hello. I have a son that will not speak to me. I have tried over the years to call and talk but when he sees my number he will not pick up the phone. I am not a perfect individual and I believe I have said things in the wrong way, but I have done all I can. As much as is possible as it depends on me live peaceably with all. I feel I have done all I can. It hurts my heart that I know there is conflict, and I can not fix it. Unforgiveness stands in the way of right relationship with God. I see it not just in my own life but in other family members that have not spoken to others for many, many, many years. Unforgiveness is at the core of the issues. It is a heart issue. IF we cannot forgive a brother, sister, father, mother, friend, coworker, child, we are doomed in eternity. If we choose to not forgive someone, neither will our father forgive us. It is a core value for everyone. No one gets to peace with God without developing a forgiving attitude in their heart. At least that is what I read in this chapter of Matthew. When I read or hear of the many charges being brought against others in our nation today, things from 20, 30, 40 years ago. You know there is a big problem with not forgiving others. Jesus forgives us and removes our sins from us as far as the East is from the West. If you went on the equator and were it possible to continually walk East you would never reach West. You could walk for eternity along that line and always continue east. Now if you started from the equator and walked north, when you got to the north pole you would start south again. and if you could continue your journey all the way to the south pole, you would then go north again. But going East you could continue to go East forever. That is how God forgives us. If we search for our sins again once they have been forgiven, we could never find them. I believe many people today are walking North and South. We need to forgive, just as our Heavenly Father has forgive us. We need to walk East and keep walking East, not North or South, but East or West.  God Bless, LVZ. 

Black and White, Men and Women and Authority

I have often wondered what is God doing?  I believe I am where I am suppose to be in Mississippi. But why? Here I am in the deep south, in a state that had the worst racial relations of probably any state. I a white man am married to a black woman. A few years ago I had an issue with a black relative, he got a gun and was threatening to shoot me. I called the law and we ended that situation. But I remember black people in that community did not think it was over. Some thought that I as a white man would have that young black man killed. Some one said, talking about me, he knows people and he could have it done. We have come a long way in our country it seems and yet there are still people that think that way. I didn't live here in the fifties and sixties. I have really no idea what people faced. I believe I was somewhat sheltered from difficult race relations growing up. I believe we are one race, the human race. It disturbs me when I see black or white Christians post stuff on face book meant to divide us. It is not Christian, we came from a difficult place in this country. Do we try to heal this nation with the things we post and say or are we continuing to work to divide and separate us? I believe our heritage should be celebrated whatever it is. BUT we need to come to gather as Americans, as Christians and work for unity. If people could get behind Bill Clinton who abused women and still speak highly of him today, yet they tear down a good man who typically of young men spoke locker room talk some 15 years ago. There is hypocrisy when we can celebrate Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, John Kennedy and tear down Trump, and it is because of the political party he represents. I agree, we need to respect women, and different races. But lets have the same standard for every one. Yes we have had some bad cops, but probably 95 % of our officers are good. Some better than others, some worse. There are men and women that can write a better blog than me and some worse. I don't want people to continually put me down for mistakes I made 20 / 30/ 40 / 50 years ago. What is it we want. Who is next in this tear down campaign? Do we want the whole world to know about our bad behavior of days gone by. Or would we like mercy. We will reap what we sow. I believe we need to respect women, but do women have some ownership in this. How am I not suppose to look when a woman shows off her breasts in the clothes she wears or short short Daisy Dukes and shows her legs up to her crotch. We know men are visual creatures, and are attracted and will look. But one woman wearing a bathing suit in a pageant said Trump ogled her. Really! Do woman in general have a part in this? I am sure I am making some mad at me with my words. I have an ex that thinks she can do anything she wants because she is single. She did anything she wanted when she was married to me also. Men from the casino would call my home phone for her and she had the nerve to ask if I was still as jealous as I use to be. When married we expect different behavior. We all have a part to play in this. Men need to be men and be leaders in their home but women also perhaps need to consider if some of the things they do could be part of the problem. I don't mean to make light of the abuse some women have faced. I don't mean to make light of past racial problems, but are we working to heal our land for divide it further.  How do we handle our hurts? I have been hurt in more than one relationship. But I prayed God help me to forgive, God help me not to allow a root of bitterness to develop when I have been hurt. I believe forgiveness is a large part of our healing process. I believe women do not need to be a door mat, nor men. Where is our personal stake in all this mess.  Are we working to heal or to grow a root of bitterness in our hearts. We need to respect each other. We need to respect law enforcement and our military. Remember the days when Vietnam soldiers came home from Vietnam and were treated badly? We never use to speak coarsely in front of a woman, but now woman use foul language as bad as men. Morality change will come from the heart. Any other way it is short lived and will disappear when political goals are met. Do you want a better America or to make a win for your party and political beliefs. Morality or lack of it comes from the heart. Our nation needs to look at our hearts. From the heart proceeds the issues of life. We will not see lasting change in any area, violence and disrespect towards women and races and political authority with out a heart change.  if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 .  If we really want to fix the issues in our land, it will require a heart change. It will be short lived at best any other way. Race issues, disrespect of women   and disrespect towards authority, all are heart issues. God bless, LVZ.

Morality

This morality kick our country is on disturbs me. The race in Alabama is very close. I think Roy Moore would have had an easy time winning if it hadn't been for the accusations that surfaced in the past year. That bothers me and I think it will be business as usual if / when the Democrats are back in charge.  They poopooed Mike Pence not too long ago with his stand but all the sudden morality or lack of it has become a big issue. I am not the same person I was 40 years ago. I am not the same person I was even 15 years ago. So I have a problem with 40 and 30 and even 20 year old accusations. People change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. I believe I changed for the better in the past 30 years. Should people still put me down today for mistakes I made 30 years ago? I don't believe I am the same person today that I was 30 years ago. Do you want to have the same label today as you did when you were 19 / 20 years old if you are 60 or more today?  When I was 19 I had a group of young men riding in the back of my pickup to go just a few blocks one day. At a stop sign this 19 year old man (me) decided to show off and take off from a stop sign and spin my tires making a right turn. I almost dumped everyone sitting around the back of the pickup box into the street. I do not believe I would do that today as a 60 plus year old man. But at 19, I could have seriously injured a few young men with my carelessness. By the grace of God, no one was hurt. Now concerning Roy Moore: First of all, I don't believe the 40 year old accusations. Second, even if they were true is their a statute of limitations?  There should be especially when it destroys a persons character. Even if that were true it seems he is a different man today as I am. I am no longer 19 and do not think like a 19 year old. What happened to being innocent until proven guilty? When I was a 49 to 50 year old man, and I was separated and living alone. I was asked to take in a 17-18 year old girl into my home. I would never do that again. I never touched that girl inappropriately, she was like a daughter. But one accusation from her and I could have been in jail and lost a good job. Who would have believed me? The first thing I did, I called my Pastor and my Mother - in - law and told them I was taking this girl into my home.  She needed a place to stay. Would it have been fair to me to have  my reputation destroyed by false accusations because of my political beliefs? I believe these accusations against some of our conservative politicians are not true, but mean to destroy and keep them from winning. It is amazing how just a few years ago that same party destroyed women who came forward about current situations with a liberal champion. I am talking Bill Clinton. I believe this new found morality will disappear when they are in control of the government again. I don't believe a party that took God out of their platform and cheered about it, that gave Bill Clinton a standing ovation when he beat the impeachment proceedings has had a heart change. I believe it is political and will be short lived. I believe a heart change from God is not politically motivated, and has eternal consequences.  They  laughed about Lauer's escapades just a few years ago. The swamp in Washington has not had a heart change, it is about power and control. It is not even about protecting women, it is about gaining control in Washington. I would really like to be wrong about this. God bless, LVZ.

Seeking Truth

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
As I read this scripture I wonder as we seek truth do we seek head knowledge or do we seek the truth to follow him. The Pharisees studied and knew scripture, yet as we read in this 8th chapter of John, they did not know Jesus. In this chapter we see them bringing a woman caught in adultery to Jesus and remind Jesus of the Law of Moses. They were seeking to test Jesus and bring a charge against him. They knew the word but they did not know the truth when he was standing and teaching them. This chapter goes on about if you know the Father you would know his son.  If you know the Son of God then you would know God also. If you abide in my word, what does that mean. To continue, to remain in his word. Yes we need to know his word, but it must be more. we need to live it to the best of our ability. Growing up legally, we knew the word, but just like the Pharisees in this chapter it was a head knowledge to make them feel good about themselves. Even as they quoted Moses in the first few verses of this chapter, they brought a woman caught in adultery, where was the man? They knew the word well enough to accuse Jesus and to try to find fault in him, but they were not following the Law of Moses. It was head knowledge and not heart knowledge. Jesus gets up from writing in the dirt and asks the woman where are you accusers. They are gone, every last one of them. Jesus says neither do I condemn you go and sin no more. Another version says leave your life of sin. To know the truth is to know Jesus. Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 Jesus is the truth. Are we seeking head knowledge to know truth or are we seeking heart knowledge to know Jesus who is the truth.  Do we seek to follow him, in our lifestyle, how we live each day. Or when we seek truth, is it just head knowledge we seek. It is possible to have head knowledge and know scripture without knowing Jesus who is the truth, the way and the life. God bless, LVZ.