The Creator of all*

When I read in the beginning of Genesis and all that God has created, it causes me to think about me. Recent blogs have been about what is God's purpose for me. I look at the trees, and how each one is different. This one may have three tops. Another one may have a crooked branch in the shape of a V. I drive down the road and I see a tree that has a very large and heavy branch hanging over the road. Each one different and unique. And maybe I am just as unique. When I grew up for some reason I was afraid to talk. I remember as a teenager, when I lived with Gary and Betty, sometimes I would need to talk to them about something. I'd come out to the living room where they were sitting and I'd think to myself about counting to ten and then just blurt it out. It was so hard for me to talk about things. I remember a supervisor calling me the quiet one years ago. I am a man that is easily moved to tears. I don't know why and I have often wondered if there is something wrong with me. I now think it may just be the uniqueness God created in me. I was a young man that was buying my first house at 21. I did better on that house than any other house I have ever purchased. I doubled my money in 4 years time. I remember working at Scott Paper and these women on the crew making a big deal about things I was doing. Here I was a young man in my early twenties, buying a house and raising two children. I wasn't even grown. I remember being chased off a car lot because a salesman thought I was just a teenager who didn't have any money. He changed his tune when he realized I was older than I looked, had a job, a child and the means to borrow money to purchase a car. I am like one of those trees unique in different ways, but still created in the image of God. Like those trees, I have changed much over the years. Things that have happened in my life have shaped me. I see trees along the side of the road and a barbed wire fence was attached to them years ago. The tree still grew and surrounded that barbed wire. The barbed wire is completely embedded in the tree. Perhaps I have had barbs in my life, sharp points that could cut and injure me. I have grown and surrounded that barb wire. I may still have scars like that tree, but I am stronger and have overcome and surrounded that wire. Maybe I could compare that to the four divorces I went thru and still maintained a good spirit about me. In my first divorce, I was paying the bills at the house even though I didn't live there. Carla had just a couple months until she was 18. Someone filled Jenie's head with all this money for back support she would get if she took me to support inforcement. I had check records for all the bills I'd been paying since separation. I'd been paying some where over $700 a month each month. They set my support payments at $500 a month. There was no back support to pay. Figuratively, she shot herself in the foot by taking me to support enforcement. But they still wanted me to pay the state, once they get involved, even though I had just showed them, I didn't need to be forced to pay child support. They want to be involved until Carla turned 18. She had just a couple months to go until 18. I wrote out a check right then and there to pay Carla's child support until  she was 18. The judge Advocate didn't know what to do, this had never happened before that someone actually paid ahead on child support. I continued to pay until Carla was 19. Most Fathers you hear about grudgingly pay child support.  I am unique in a lot of ways. I would love to see each of those ex wives in heaven someday. I have often thought if one of them were to come to the church I was attending, I would hug their neck and welcome them. I have to forgive, not forgiving only hurts me. If she came with the man she was cheating on me with, I'd have to welcome him as well.  My life story is different than anyone else. I went thru pain and heartache many a time, but God used those times to change me. When I read the scripture in Ephesians and it talks about husbands love your wife as Christ also loved the church gave his life for the church. I think how does this apply to my life? I don't concentrate on the prior scripture that talks to the wife. I need to know what I need to do. Let everyone else find their own way. That is a lot different than the young man in my twenties that was thinking only about me. I owe it all to God. He is the one that created me as unique as  I may be. I don't have lots of money like some of my family have and yet I have more than others. I don't have a nice home like others but its mine.  I made mistakes different than anyone else and yet I survived. I remember meeting Asia, a 12 year old girl in Tacoma when I first moved there.  I met her Mom and dated her. But here was this 12 year old girl that  never knew her father. There were a couple of times I bought her clothes for school, shoes etc. When she was 17 she came to live at my house. I had two rules, you go to school and to church with me on Sunday. I could have gone to jail if she had even said I did anything inapproproiate. First thing I did was call my Pastor and told him I have a 17-year-old girl moving into my house, second I called my mother-in-law of the woman I was still married to at the time.  I started to take note of all the fatherless children I would meet, even in church. I knew God is the father to the fatherless. I raised a son who is not mine genetically, but felt God gave him to me to raise. He may disown me and have nothing to do with me but my life goes on. I remember one fathers day feeling really blue because as usual, I knew my children that I raised would ignore me on fathers day. I prayed about it and a few days later Asia called me and asked if she could go to church with me on Fathers day. God is mindful of the things we are going thru and uses them to shape us. I still pray for Asia just as I do for my children. I still pray for Titus and Timothy, Asia's sons, just as I do for my grandchildren. I kept a list one time of the many fatherless children I had met and it had grown into the fifties in just a few years. For a long time I prayed for them. Maybe in heaven I'll meet them and think, I prayed for you. I am totally unique and different than probably any one I know with my own set of life experiences. I have prayed thru the divorces, God keep my heart tender, don't let me become hard. I am still easily moved to tears as I was yesterday when I heard Northwest Tennessee story. I wish I could convince others to know this Jesus who has stayed with me thru thick and thin. I am created in the image of God and may I ever grow closer and be more and more like him. God Bless LVZ.