If I could do it over*

If I could start my life over I would like to do things differently. But I am me and I would probably do the same thing over again. If I could start life knowing what I know today, what would I do differently?  I would pray and ask God for direction in my life. I would not marry or date without seeking God. Why? The person I married and made a child with no longer serves God. She is still a mother and grandmother to my child and my grandchildren. She still has an influence on their lives.
After my first divorce, I tried to be true to God but I started listening to the counsel of the world. I went thru most of my first marriage having only been intimate with one woman. I listen to the counsel of the world. You live in the nineties. Even in Bible days, people committed adultery, King David did. Samson did, and I am sure if I keep looking I would find more. OK, they did it and God still called David a man after his heart. King David suffered for his sins, Solomon his son suffered for his sins. But there is a story of Joseph, who had the opportunity with the wife of Potiphar. He truly tried to remain true to God. He was falsely accused and thrown into prison. But everywhere Joseph went God blessed him, even in prison. God was shaping him for a future purpose. I believe God wants to do that in all our lives, if we will trust him, obey him. We live in an age where men think "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." We live in an age where women indeed do give the milk for free. We live in an age where it seems there are so many fatherless kids. Yes, they had a father to be created, but they do not live in the same house. Sometimes if there is a man in the house, it is not their father. If 1/3 of the people in this nation had cancer it would be considered an epidemic. But it seems recently I heard that 1/3 of households in this country are absent a father.  I believe women are damaged by the men that feel they are men and men will be men. They are not faithful to one woman. Not too long ago on one of these TV shows where they try to find the true father for a child, a woman had 13 men tested for DNA to match her child and still had not found the father. Is God punishing us by asking us to abstain from sexual relations outside of marriage? Absolutely not, he wants something good and beautiful for us, for our marriages, for our families, for our nation. But we are a nation that cannot wait for God to bring a partner into our lives. We feel we know better than our creator or are just plain selfish. Some years ago Charles Stanley gave a list of things that are different between Love and Lust. Love can wait, Lust must have it now. Love is giving, Lust is taking. I will not give the whole list here. A woman could trust a man who is willing and of Godly character to wait.  Sex outside of marriage is wrong and it does destroy. It promotes selfish attitudes in our younger generation. Waiting on God promotes selflessness, considering the other person and their well being and not just our selfish desires. I would love to go back and try this in my life. I think it would make a big difference in the lives of my children and grandchildren. I dated a woman once and really wanted to marry her but she didn't trust me. She had been used and damaged by men just like me in the past and it was hard to trust. Even then, I wish I knew as much as I do now. I believe the milk is really not free it is just a different price we pay, perhaps an emotional one and a spiritual one. If we could just trust God as Joseph did. We could change our world. We would have less dysfunction in our world, less heartache, less selfishness. Fewer fatherless children, fewer homes without a father in them. I believe we would have less drug addiction, alcoholism. Maybe I am just a dreamer but so was Joseph. I wish I could go back and start over, I really do.  God bless, LVZ.