options*

Matthew 6:15 "But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." There are so many choices in life. When we recently looked at an automobile there were three different colors on the lot. Red, orange, white. The red was a base model, the white was a top of the line with leather heated seats, in-dash GPS, satellite radio, etc.  When I had a roof put on, I could have gone with metal which I considered for a while or a 20-year asphalt, 30-year asphalt, etc. When I was looking for a house, one place I considered was 20 miles out in the country with 72 acres. Another had a mobile home on 28 acres. This one was a small brick house with a shop and I believe the shop had some influence on me. There are a lot of choices in life. But according to the scripture quoted at the beginning of this blog, forgiveness is not an option in life. If we want to die well. We are at the time of year when a lot of people go to church to celebrate Easter. Good Friday the time we think of as Christ's last days on earth before he gave his life on that cross. He didn't sin, he didn't deserve to die. He did it for us to pay the penalty for our sins. On the cross, in great pain and suffering, he said forgive them, they know not what they do. Easter is a celebration because not only will we hear of Christ's death on a cross for you and me, we will also hear of his Resurrection from the grave. He forgave us when he hung on that cross some 2000 years ago. People that were shouting his praises just a few short days earlier (the same people) were now shouting at the top of their lungs crucify him. What had Jesus done in those few days to cause so many people to want to crucify him? Nothing, Nothing at all, but love people, heal people, encouraged people, etc. In spite of the betrayal, in spite of the great pain he felt in his hands, his feet, this side, and his head, the crown of thorns. Being mocked and laughed at. You who saved others, come down off that cross if you can they mocked. How that must have hurt. I can think of betrayal by a wife, that was untrue to me and blatantly be with another man or even more than one. It hurt, I can remember feeling so bad. not once, not twice, but many times. All of us have been hurt in life, one way or another. Whatever it was, our hurt was big. But then it was never as big as the hurt Christ suffered for us. He was innocent. I've done things to hurt others, ex-wives, people I worked with. I've said things that hurt others. People hurt me many many times. The scripture I quoted above tells us forgiveness is not an option in life. No one has said it is easy. Jesus said it was an absolute necessity. Not forgiving someone only hurts me, they may not even know. But I know and it hurts me and it could keep me out of heaven. So many choices in life, we can do or not do. Not forgiving will hurt me and keep me from eternal life as well as hurting me in this life. It can be hard to say those words when we think we need to hear it from them. It is not an option. It is necessary for a good life here below and for eternity. Don't wait until we are on our deathbed to forgive or ask forgiveness. Make it a way of living beforehand. You will live and die well. God Bless, LVZ.

Political*

I like to stay away from political issues most of the time. I was listening to Deneen Borelli, a Conservative Black Woman. When I started listening I didn't realize she was black. I am a conservative so I guess its only natural that I might stop and listen to a conservative on the radio. I know it is unusual for a black person to be conservative. Especially in the last 6 years or so. To be black and not support Obama was unthinkable. But my real question is why is it so wrong to the liberal side for a black person to think conservatively? A black person such as Deneen will be called all sorts of unprintable things and be considered a traitor to their own race. She talked a little about this today and that's when I realized she was black. The liberals think they are the champions for equal rights and think they are the champions for civil rights and I think most Americans not knowing their history think this is so. Abraham Lincoln was a republican. I don't really want to get into a conservative/liberal debate but to my way of thinking the liberals are very hypocritical if a minority person cannot think for themselves and be a conservative. It makes me think a lot of what they do is about control, just like now the amnesty debate is really about getting more voters that will be obligated to them, and not about their rights and doing what is right. I know both sides want to control but from where I am sitting Bush was more honest about what he really thought. It seems the liberals will say anything to be in control. Now that I said that I do have to say, I see many Republicans backing down on their beliefs about same-sex marriages. I don't think its right to change what we think to become the party in power. We should be able to talk about our differences and compromise. But we should not change our stance, our belief system to gain control. If we are right, the present administration is headed for failure eventually. Somebody has to work to pay taxes to support all the giveaways. When it gets to be over 50% on the taking side, it should become clear to even a child that this doesn't work. We are the government and we are the source of the government money, if everyone becomes a taker and there are no more givers, it will fail. It doesn't have to be 100% to make that clear, but it may be too late to save this government of the people for the people. One of my favorite Black writers is Walter Williams, an Economics Professor. He makes a lot of sense. I still think the most important thing is to stay in God's hands. I guess once in a while I have to say something political.  The gun debate may also be more about being in control of us the people than really protecting us. I am afraid that we are coming close to the end. But I don't want to be a doomsday person. I have heard when I was a child, one teenager said he didn't think the 1965 cars would come out, well you know how long ago that was and we are still here. But a generation could be as long a 100 years. Only God Knows, we just need to stay in his hands.  God bless, LVZ.

God is in control*

Daniel 4:17 "This matter is by the decree of the watchers, and the demand by the word of the holy ones: to the intent that the living may know that the highest ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will, and setteth up over it the basest of men." I listen to the radio when driving and various talk shows will take about the sorry state of our country. Our President is giving aid to terrorist organizations as they put it and in our own county putting people out of work by cutting funding to the airport control towers. Tupelo Airport is one of the airport towers that is being closed.  While I agree that we should not give aid to the Palestinians, when they publicly state they want to wipe Israel off the map, I still believe God is in control. I believe he set up our former President and I am sure Conservatives will agree with that. I believe he set up this President and I am sure Liberals will agree with that but how could God have put that former President in office. Conservatives will probably not agree that God had anything to do with putting this President in office. You can't have it both ways, either God is in control or he is not. Daniel was a slave and yet he survived several Kings and one of them was ruthless Nebuchadnezzar. Daniel 5:19 "And for the majesty that he gave him, all people, nations, and languages, trembled and feared before him: whom he would he slew; and whom he would he kept alive; and whom he would he set up; and whom he would he put down." This is the same King that threw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew God could deliver them if he wanted to, but either way, they would win. If God had chosen not to deliver them, they would still have been with him. God is still in control, our leaders can only go as far as God allows them to go. Sometimes when I see the things that are happening in our world, I wonder if we are in the last days before the second coming of Christ. All I know is I want to be in God's hands. I can't see the future and I don't know what is going to happen even at the end of this year. I make and develop plans for what I think I want to do, but then like Barbara says If God allows I will do this or that. If I am still here. I think it is a good place to be in God's hands. He can deliver us, he can set up a new ruler, he can limit how far this President can go before he says, no more.  We can survive this administration just as Daniel did and several more. It is thought that Hillary is getting ready to run in 2016, perhaps. As more and more people become dependant on an ever-growing government, it will be harder and harder for a conservative to win in my thinking. Know this that God sets them up and brings them down. I just need to keep myself in God's hands and I'll be alright.  God Bless, LVZ.

Consider mine affliction*

As I was tramping thru the woods today I saw this car, probably a 1955 0r 56 ford.  I didn't see any road nearby and I wondered how this dilapidated old car got there. It has obviously been there a long time and very little is left of it other than the rusted out body. There was a time long ago when I think I felt that bad about myself, some 30 plus years ago. My first marriage was in shambles, I had gotten laid off from Boeing. I hadn't been walking with God, I'd stayed out of church for years, and emotionally, mentally and spiritually, I think I felt about like this car looks utterly useless and hopeless. Psalms 119:153 says "Consider mine afflictions, and deliver me: for I do not forget thy law. 154 Plead my cause, and deliver me: quicken me according to thy word." At the time I probably would have wondered how I got to that place too. I actually went out into the woods one day as far as I could get on a logging road up on Green Mountain east of Everett. I was really really feeling bad, I believe it was in the fall of 1983.  I went up there intending to shoot myself, I really did. I was feeling that bad. I had a 22 rifle with me and was going to try and end my life. I felt at the time that nobody cared, and nobody would miss me.  I couldn't pull the trigger. I cried and cried,
God if you really care help me. I guess what brings this to mind is recently I've been talking to someone that has threatened to kill themselves. God is the answer. We need to run to God. Whatever the affliction, whatever gets us that down, we need to run to God.  I was talking to a Pastor sometime after this, not about this, this is something I have hidden away in my long-ago memory. I was talking to him about the difficulties I was having. Mostly I was still dealing with my first marriage. In my conversation with him, I mentioned something that happened to me at work that day. Someone had said something that really hurt me. I needed a place to get away. I went to the bathroom and hid in a stall and silently cried out to God.  As I was telling about this, he said, "did you notice what you did in that situation?" What do you mean I asked. He said, "You ran to God."  Sometimes we do go thru difficulties when God is trying to get our attention. Sometimes like Job, it's not because we are doing anything wrong. Sometimes God may be trying to teach us something. And sometimes God does allow difficulties in our life to get our attention and to try to get us to return to him. Mostly if it is the latter, you will know.  God did get my attention some 29 years ago. I've never been the same. Since that time, I have gone thru 4 divorces. Once at work I had to be put on second shift for my safety, I had a whole lot of people angry with me. Once I thought I was going to be laid off again in early 2002. All kinds of things have happened to me but somewhere I learned to run to God in difficult situations not away from him. "Plead my cause and deliver me". As I think about this, when I have someone that helps me in my time of trouble, it just doesn't feel right to ignore him when everything is going good. I know how angry I feel when I don't hear from a child of mine until they need money. But God can take the mess we make of our lives and make it beautiful. I didn't have a 56 or 55 ford but here is a 51 ford.  God Bless, LVZ.

The Creator of all*

When I read in the beginning of Genesis and all that God has created, it causes me to think about me. Recent blogs have been about what is God's purpose for me. I look at the trees, and how each one is different. This one may have three tops. Another one may have a crooked branch in the shape of a V. I drive down the road and I see a tree that has a very large and heavy branch hanging over the road. Each one different and unique. And maybe I am just as unique. When I grew up for some reason I was afraid to talk. I remember as a teenager, when I lived with Gary and Betty, sometimes I would need to talk to them about something. I'd come out to the living room where they were sitting and I'd think to myself about counting to ten and then just blurt it out. It was so hard for me to talk about things. I remember a supervisor calling me the quiet one years ago. I am a man that is easily moved to tears. I don't know why and I have often wondered if there is something wrong with me. I now think it may just be the uniqueness God created in me. I was a young man that was buying my first house at 21. I did better on that house than any other house I have ever purchased. I doubled my money in 4 years time. I remember working at Scott Paper and these women on the crew making a big deal about things I was doing. Here I was a young man in my early twenties, buying a house and raising two children. I wasn't even grown. I remember being chased off a car lot because a salesman thought I was just a teenager who didn't have any money. He changed his tune when he realized I was older than I looked, had a job, a child and the means to borrow money to purchase a car. I am like one of those trees unique in different ways, but still created in the image of God. Like those trees, I have changed much over the years. Things that have happened in my life have shaped me. I see trees along the side of the road and a barbed wire fence was attached to them years ago. The tree still grew and surrounded that barbed wire. The barbed wire is completely embedded in the tree. Perhaps I have had barbs in my life, sharp points that could cut and injure me. I have grown and surrounded that barb wire. I may still have scars like that tree, but I am stronger and have overcome and surrounded that wire. Maybe I could compare that to the four divorces I went thru and still maintained a good spirit about me. In my first divorce, I was paying the bills at the house even though I didn't live there. Carla had just a couple months until she was 18. Someone filled Jenie's head with all this money for back support she would get if she took me to support inforcement. I had check records for all the bills I'd been paying since separation. I'd been paying some where over $700 a month each month. They set my support payments at $500 a month. There was no back support to pay. Figuratively, she shot herself in the foot by taking me to support enforcement. But they still wanted me to pay the state, once they get involved, even though I had just showed them, I didn't need to be forced to pay child support. They want to be involved until Carla turned 18. She had just a couple months to go until 18. I wrote out a check right then and there to pay Carla's child support until  she was 18. The judge Advocate didn't know what to do, this had never happened before that someone actually paid ahead on child support. I continued to pay until Carla was 19. Most Fathers you hear about grudgingly pay child support.  I am unique in a lot of ways. I would love to see each of those ex wives in heaven someday. I have often thought if one of them were to come to the church I was attending, I would hug their neck and welcome them. I have to forgive, not forgiving only hurts me. If she came with the man she was cheating on me with, I'd have to welcome him as well.  My life story is different than anyone else. I went thru pain and heartache many a time, but God used those times to change me. When I read the scripture in Ephesians and it talks about husbands love your wife as Christ also loved the church gave his life for the church. I think how does this apply to my life? I don't concentrate on the prior scripture that talks to the wife. I need to know what I need to do. Let everyone else find their own way. That is a lot different than the young man in my twenties that was thinking only about me. I owe it all to God. He is the one that created me as unique as  I may be. I don't have lots of money like some of my family have and yet I have more than others. I don't have a nice home like others but its mine.  I made mistakes different than anyone else and yet I survived. I remember meeting Asia, a 12 year old girl in Tacoma when I first moved there.  I met her Mom and dated her. But here was this 12 year old girl that  never knew her father. There were a couple of times I bought her clothes for school, shoes etc. When she was 17 she came to live at my house. I had two rules, you go to school and to church with me on Sunday. I could have gone to jail if she had even said I did anything inapproproiate. First thing I did was call my Pastor and told him I have a 17-year-old girl moving into my house, second I called my mother-in-law of the woman I was still married to at the time.  I started to take note of all the fatherless children I would meet, even in church. I knew God is the father to the fatherless. I raised a son who is not mine genetically, but felt God gave him to me to raise. He may disown me and have nothing to do with me but my life goes on. I remember one fathers day feeling really blue because as usual, I knew my children that I raised would ignore me on fathers day. I prayed about it and a few days later Asia called me and asked if she could go to church with me on Fathers day. God is mindful of the things we are going thru and uses them to shape us. I still pray for Asia just as I do for my children. I still pray for Titus and Timothy, Asia's sons, just as I do for my grandchildren. I kept a list one time of the many fatherless children I had met and it had grown into the fifties in just a few years. For a long time I prayed for them. Maybe in heaven I'll meet them and think, I prayed for you. I am totally unique and different than probably any one I know with my own set of life experiences. I have prayed thru the divorces, God keep my heart tender, don't let me become hard. I am still easily moved to tears as I was yesterday when I heard Northwest Tennessee story. I wish I could convince others to know this Jesus who has stayed with me thru thick and thin. I am created in the image of God and may I ever grow closer and be more and more like him. God Bless LVZ.

Northwest Tennessee***

I heard a story today from Northwest Tennessee. I will tell it as best as I remember it. A man from Northwest  Tennessee was telling about his church starting a bus ministry some 40 years ago. At the time the church had a membership of about 25 people. They drove around the area looking for houses that had bicycles/tricycles in the yard. At this one house, he described as a sharecropper house built on blocks. the roof was needing repair, the broken windows have been stuffed with rags to keep out the cold. They knocked on the door of this house and found an older lady with two young girls about 8 years old.  Inside there were only a few sticks of furniture and a potbelly stove in the middle of the room. Some of the paneling on the inside had been torn off the walls to use in the stove for heat. They asked if they could come back and pick up the girls for Sunday School the next Sunday. Their Mother said no because they didn't have any clothes to wear to church. The man telling the story said they told her not to worry about that. She gave her permission and the next Sunday they came to pick up the girls for Sunday School. He went into a lot of detail telling about the house because he wanted us to know how bad the conditions were for this woman and her two girls. Her husband and some of the older boys were working but after they got paid they would drink and gamble it away until there was nothing left for her. When they came to pick up the girls for Sunday School, the mother asked them if they would pray for the salvation of her boys. They did and every week she would ask for the same prayer saying she was standing in the gap for her family. They took the girls to Sunday School and the Pastors wife would give them a bath and feed them before Sunday School. Some of the members bought the girls new dresses. After Church, they would put them back in their old clothes and take them home. After a few weeks of this, they asked the mother if she would come to Sunday School with her daughters and she said she couldn't because she didn't have any clothes. One of the members had bought her a dress and they gave it to her. She came. When an altar call was given she would go over to a corner of the church building and pray for her children. This went on for some time. One Sunday, one of her sons came with her and got saved. Several weeks later another son came and was saved. I believe, if I heard right, the name of the family was Sullivan. At some point, her husband finally came also and he was a terrible individual that had cut her and the girls with kitchen knives at different times. He was also converted and has since passed on. Anyway, they now have some 40 plus members of the Sullivan family attending their church.  He told this same story at her funeral a few years ago. She had 16 children, 10 of them sons. Seven of those sons are now ministers. One of her family is a doctor, another a nurse,  one son is a Deacon. At her funeral, they listed the 16 children, 54 grandchildren, and 4 great-grandchildren. 30 members of her family are Sunday School teachers. A couple of her sons are Pastors of churches in the area. One son has a very large church in Michigan. The man telling this story says one of the sons spoke at his own Fathers funeral a few years back. That particular son had quit school in the third grade and could barely read at the time he got save. He can now read and speak better than he could (the man telling this story). This woman left a letter in her bedside drawer when she died, which he read to us.  She told her family that she loved each and every one of them and to keep praying for a couple children that were still struggling. She said she did the best she could for them. She stood in the gap for them as best she could and prayed for them every day. She said she wanted to see all of them on the other side someday. She asked that one of her sons preach at her funeral as she now had ministers in her family. She had stood on the promise of James 5:16 " Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man (or woman) availeth much."  The healing she had prayed for was the spiritual healing of her family. She never asked for a better house or living conditions. 40 years ago there was not a lot in the way of welfare for this woman. The speaker said we could go around the room and ask each of you to tell a story of a prayer God has answered in some dramatic way, and it would take all day. I have repeated this story as accurately as I can. I do not hear as well as I use to. God Bless, LVZ.

King David, a man after my own heart*

Acts 13:22 "And when he had removed him,  he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will."   I like King David, he slew Goliath with his slingshot and some stones from a brook. He faced Goliath when the rest of King Saul's army was afraid. King Saul strayed from following God, and God anointed David to be his replacement.  Saul was jealous and sought to kill David. David ran for his life and had the opportunity to kill King Saul but didn't. But then David does become King and he does some awful things. He sends a man to the front of a battle that he as the king should be leading. But David the king is back home committing adultery. He sends the husband of the woman he is fornicating with to the front of a battle and then tells his general to pull everyone else back. This action insured that Uriah would be killed in battle. When Uriah is dead, David takes Bathsheba to be his wife.  I know David had at least 1 wife already, Michal the daughter of Saul. David misused his power as King and his action displeased God.  We may not want to follow King David in many of his actions. God sent his prophet Nathan to tell David about himself. David realizes his mistake and the awful thing he has done and repents.  That action is one we can imitate in the life of David. No matter how bad a life we have lived, we can come to God and repent of our sins and actions as King David did. God forgives and the history recorded in the Bible calls David a man after God's heart. It is a good thing to learn from others mistakes. It like they say, don't pay for all your lessons yourself. Learn from others mistakes. Change the bad and copy the good. Don't copy the same mistakes others have made. Learn from them and copy the good. Sometimes we use the bad things others have done like King David to justify our own actions.  We reap what we sow, it doesn't work to use others as an excuse for our behavior. We will still pay for our sins. If we learn from other peoples actions, we do not have to pay for every one of life's lesson ourselves.  A good example to follow would be Joseph. Mind you Joseph went thru some things from the age of seventeen until in his thirties. But he tried to follow God even in bad times. Everything he did, God blessed. Even in prison, people saw God was with Joseph and prospered him. When Joseph was in Potiphar house, Potiphar's house was blessed. When he was in prison, the captain of the guard saw and knew God was blessing this man. Joseph still went thru some things, but he realized he was in God's hands. When he became second in command in Egypt, he realized this had been God's plan all along and did not hold it against his brothers that sold him into slavery in the first place. Genesis 50:20 God meant it unto good. All that had happened to Joseph had been under God's control. God view of life is much better than ours.  He has plans for each of us. Some of the hardships we face in life are God shaping as he did these great men. God Bless, LVZ.

I am a product of*:

As I wrote the previous blog, I thought about the many changes in my beliefs over the years. I am a product of many different churches, many different Pastors, Sunday School Teachers, etc. I appreciate every church and servant of God that helped me along my journey thru life. I know if I try to list them I will miss some, its been that many. I have attended or been a member of and been influenced by the Church of God of Prophecy, Sisco Heights Community Church, Northshore Christian Church, Bethany Christian Assembly, Second Baptist Church, Martin Luther King Jr Memorial Baptist Church, Eastside Baptist Church, CFAN (Church For All Nations), Springhill Baptist Church and of course Hope Church. I have been helped on my journey thru life by many servants of God and here again I will miss some: James Alexander, Hank Becker, Marge Gaines, Gary and Betty Judd (this couple will probably never realize the tremendous impact they had on me), Rev Carlson, Charley Jackson, Oscar Jones, Rev Carey, Arthur Banks, my father-in-law Papa Johns, my mother-in-law Carolyn Jones, Bill Wolfson, Elders George and Kathy Young, Scooter Noland, and so many others. You could add to this list the many friends over the years that have encouraged me and prayed for me when I was going thru difficulties. Hank, who loaned me his car when I had no other way to get around.  I could write a whole page about Gary and Betty Judd, they were just being the best Christians they knew how to be. We are not Lone Ranger Christians. We need each other. The different churches I mentioned are not in competition with each other but while they may believe differently about some things, they all have a goal of helping as many people reach heaven as they possibly can. But each of these I mentioned above has impacted me in some way and I am grateful. That list is incomplete.  I pray that I also can impact and encourage someone on their journey thru this life. God Bless, LVZ.

Influence*

As I have listened to Pastor Wolfson in Tacoma's CFAN, I have thought much about my own influence. I have thought much about being salt. Here are some things I think about this subject.  First off, we have to feed our selves in God's word. We can do this in our own personal reading. We can listen to sermons by our Pastors and others. My favorites are Charles Stanley (In Touch), Bill Wolfson (CFAN - Tacoma), Scooter Noland (Hope Church - Tupelo).  Second, we need a personal relationship with God. Our personal relationship is just that, personal. It can be different than anyone else's. It needs to be consistent, daily. Feeding ourselves, and talking to our heavenly Father.  Seeking him daily for direction and guidance. Before we can help anyone, we need to take care of our self. It's just like the instruction on an airplane, put your own oxygen mask on before you try to help anyone else. We need our own consistent relationship. Even Jesus took time to turn aside and pray to his Father in heaven. There needs to be some time in fighting our own battles, learning how to combat the temptations of this life that we face. I think we become salt as we consistently have a relationship with our heavenly father. I want that in my life: to be salt, to have an influence on others. I want to have that influence on my children and grandchildren. The best thing I know to do is just to keep on living. Keep feeding my self, keep going to church, keep reading the Bible, keep praying. Just keep the best personal relationship I can have with my heavenly Father.   Some feel they need to kneel, I  go for walks and talk with God as I am walking.  I like to talk to God as I am driving. It's personal, I don't feel I can say it has to be any certain way, other than consistent. I don't believe everyone who goes to church is going to be in heaven, but I believe it is necessary to go to church. Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. We are not lone ranger Christians. We need each other, for encouragement, for instruction, for building up. We can be a help to others as well as they to us. We need to pay attention to what we are eating spiritually. I believe there are a lot of good churches, but I always ask God for direction in looking for a church. I want to be an influence, I want to be salt, but most of all I need Jesus for me. I want to be what he wants me to be. Since I was in my twenties, I have had different ministers talk to me about being a Deacon. It has never happened. Maybe, I don't fit the qualifications yet. I have preached sermons at Papa Johns request, still, I am not a preacher. I am a Christian. Everyone needs to come to that place in their life where they have the ultimate conversation with God and accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. That is Primary, everything and anything else is secondary. From that point, I believe it is up to God where he takes me and uses me.
I do want to influence the people around me. I do want to be salt. God bless, LVZ.