Decisions

 Decisions, I have made a lot of them. Some bad and some good.  Sometimes the decisions you make affect the rest of your life. I have made some bad ones. I have made some good ones I think back to the time I decided to stay in Hight School until I graduated. I so badly wanted to leave home as soon as I turned 18, but I made a decision to stick it out. It was a good decision, one of my better decisions. I knew it would be important to have a High School diploma when I went looking for a job. I enjoyed my 32 years at the Boeing Company and I wonder if they would have even hired me if I had not finished High School. A lot of people I worked with had at least two years of college. Many had an engineering degree. I bought my first home at age 21. I didn't have any idea what I was doing but I made a good decision and it blessed me for many years to come. I think God was watching out for me. I made worse decisions when I actually had more experience. Not all decisions are cut and dried, sometimes I could have gone either way and just have to live with the decision I made. I wish I had learned to pray more about every decision and wait until I had a clear answer from God. But even then the answer wasn't written in the clouds for me to see. If I had advice to give anyone about making decisions, I would say take it to God first. Even then God has not spoken to me out of a burning bush like he did Moses. Or stop me on the way to Damascus like he did Paul. I blew it many times. Once I needed a newer car and I prayed about it, I think back to that occasion and I was worried about the age of my car and taking a trip where I'd be taking mom along in North Dakota.  I prayed about it, and that night on a break I looked at the classifieds and found a low mileage car that I had enough money to buy. I called and was the first caller and got the car. It was a blessing. One of the things I noted about that prayer, it wasn't all selfish, I was concerned about taking my elderly Mom on the road far away from home. It wasn't all about me. God blessed. Many of my decisions were not always others-centered, but that time it was.   After failing in four marriages, I asked God to please help me. Help me to be the right man for someone. I changed the focus of my prayer from finding the right woman to being the right man myself. I had a lot of growing to do from my first marriage and still do. But after 4 divorces in a period of 11 years, this marriage has lasted at this time 13 plus years. I had finally asked God for help, instead of just making a decision. I remember once when I was going to get married after several failures, I talked to a minister that knew the young lady I was wanting to marry. He said something like you have a good heart but want you need is a wise heart, I hope you have a lot of patience. Or something very similar, I am not sure anymore of his exact words. I realize today that would have probably been a disaster from what I have seen in the years since. I made some bad decisions in relationships and financial decisions which I wish I could go back and do-over. It is behind me and I can't, I just have to live with the result and try to do better in the future.   Sometimes I wish God would speak to me out of a burning bush, but then I realize many times I didn't listen to that still small voice. If I could do my life over, I would like to seek God's guidance more and actually listen to the still small voice and the voices of those with more experience that tried to guide me and I didn't listen. Sometimes that was God trying to help and guide me, but I just plain didn't listen. I try to look back to the good decisions and try to repeat them. I try to seek God's direction more. He still doesn't write an answer in the clouds or speak to me from a burning bush. But sometimes I pay attention to that still small voice more than I used to. I really think God wants us to trust him. Sometimes it is not which way I decided so much as it is I tried to trust God. As Charles Stanley says so many times trust God and leave then consequences up to him, or something similar. in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5.  Maybe I am getting better, this marriage has lasted longer than three of the previous ones combined.  Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7.      God bless, LVZ.