The Words Of My Mouth

I have been listening to a sermon about the words we speak. I see a problem with me. I have deleted many old posts and even some not so old posts. I grew up in a very negative environment. This apple did not fall far from the tree. I hated to be compared to my father, but I picked up some of his traits. Speaking negatively is one of them. I really don't think I have understood or seen how much this has been a part of me. I have been a Christian for 30 plus years. Actually, I attended church before I was born, I was raised in a church pew. I remember Bro Kruckenberg giving me a nickel to sit with him in church. I thought he liked me and that was why he gave me a nickel. I realize he was trying to help my parents with a handful of kids. If I was four at the time, I had an older brother and sister and one sister younger than I. If I was five there would have been a sister and a brother younger than me as well as the two older than me. My parents would have had their hands full. I have been on this journey a long, long time and I still see areas I need help with. I am sure if you could talk to my children they would probably have a lot of negative thoughts in their head from their growing up years It came naturally to me, and most of the time we travel through life on autopilot and don't even realize the impact our words have on our children and others. Our words have the power of life and death. But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. Matthew 15:18
I think I am just beginning to understand the problem. Our mouth is like our rudder, it points the direction we are going. I have changed many other areas of my life. But the tongue is probably our most unruly member and the hardest to change. This is not the first time I have been confronted with this issue, and it probably will not be the last.  Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. James 3:3-6. 
Our tongue is such a small member of our body, it steers our direction. How can blessing and cursing come from the same mouth? I write so many words and I wonder do they encourage or tear down? The words I write are a mirror to what is inside of me. The things that come out of my mouth come from the heart. This is what I believe God is speaking to me about in my quiet time of the last few days. What is stored up in my heart and coming out of my mouth?   
You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34

It is a family dysfunction that gets passed on from one generation to the next. I want to be like my Heavenly Father and speak words that uplift and encourage.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
I am so glad God sees me through Jesus Christ. Sometimes I don't like the me I see, I am thankful for mercy and grace. I am thankful for the washing of water by the word. I didn't wake up the morning after I became a Christian and have all this correct in my life.  I didn't have to figure all this out before becoming a Christian either. I came to God just as I was, and that was a mess. God sees me through Jesus Christ because I have believed in him. And he works on me and in me and will until the day I die. It really makes me see how important grace and mercy are. I haven't earned them and can't earn them. I will never be good enough to earn God's favor. It is freely given, Grace is free. It used to be a fear of mine to be called a hypocrite, but I realize it is true, I have standards I try to live up to and fail. If I was Hugh Hefner, with no standards, it wouldn't be a problem. I'd live what I believe. But I claim Christ and he was perfect and without sin. I am not, it used to bother me. I felt I had to live a perfect life because I was a Christian. I couldn't do it and I'd get discouraged. But somewhere along my path, I realized that when I accepted Jesus into my heart, God looks at me and sees Jesus. I am forgiven. Man, it is a wonderful place to be. All sins are gone, just because I believe in Jesus and accepted him as Savior and Lord. He washes me with the water of the word as I live daily. He tells me, Leon, the words of your mouth need some work. I don't feel condemned, I feel loved that God will work on me and bring me closer to the image of Jesus. It is called grace, freely given, if we accept it. But that too is a key, that grace has to be received. God extends it towards me, and I have to reach up and grab it. Believe in him, that Jesus died on a cross for my sins. If we say we have not sinned, we lie. But we have an advocate with God the Father if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Everyone's story is different, just as we are unique so is our story. I am so thankful for grace. I took a vow until death do part, and failed. I have been divorced 4 times, I lived an imperfect life. In my family, I have the record (a bad record) for the most divorces. I wouldn't be surprised to know that I have the record (a bad record ) at my church. Many others have been divorced also. Yet God loved me in spite of me. All four of those divorces were after I started living this Christian life. I have failed so many times, but God still looks at me and sees Jesus. Grace, just as if I had never done it. God is working on me to make me better, but not condemning me in the process, loving me through it.  For God so loved the world, he gave his son, Jesus, to die on a cross for my sins. Eternity is coming, I don't know when, I like my life, but when I go through that valley, Jesus will be with me. God is not concerned about my divorces, he is concerned about my heart. Where my treasure is, there will my heart be also. Lay up your treasures in Heaven. Don't follow me, follow Jesus, the perfect one. God bless, LVZ.