Writing

When you talk person to person you can set your tone, your volume but how do you do that in written word.  All capitalized letters perhaps is shouting in the written word. Add to that bold print. When I am writing I do put scripture in bold text. I THINK IF I WAS TRYING TO SHOUT IT WOULD LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS.  But how do I convey a softer tone. Would Italic represent a softer tone?  Sometimes there is no substitute for speaking in person, when you can hear the tone and see the persons facial expressions. A lot of communication is not verbal. So one time I wrote good, bad or indifferent.  Indifferent: 1. having no particular interest or sympathy; unconcerned.  2. neither good nor bad; mediocre. If you look it up in Merriam-Webster there are actually 6 or 7 explanations for indifferent. As I wrote that comment years ago, I didn't look it up, I just wrote the thought, good, bad or indifferent. Someone said that indifferent meant I didn't care. But looking at the context of my comment, I use good and bad in front of indifferent, doesn't that fit the second definition above? Neither good nor bad, mediocre? The person chose to be hurt because they insisted on using the first definition even when  it didn't fit the context of what I said. When I was a lead, we would have other leads read our e-mails to try to prevent miscommunication. We would talk about the issue the e-mail was about, did my words cover the thought I was trying to convey adequately. Could it be misunderstood? Often another person reading an e-mail will see it differently than the person writing it and then corrections could be made. Even that caution did not prevent all miscommunication. When I was in grade school, I never realized how important writing correctly was. It wasn't until I became a lead for our team that I realized how important that writing became. We had one individual that would write a whole problem statement without punctuation. It would take us hours to understand that persons words. What can you do, explaining it as I have above did no good, the person wanted to feel hurt. Is that on me or is that on them?  Do we look for healing or more insult? That is a personal issue I can do nothing to fix. Out of the mouth comes what is in the heart. It is a heart issue.  A person with a forgiving  attitude would try to overlook an insult rather than choose to find even more reason to be hurt and angry. It is a personal issue in that person, something only they can fix. If we want to live the best life possible, we should seek to be forgiving and try to heal relationships.  A forgiving attitude in life is necessary. Actually it is not necessary, it does make life better. A forgiving attitude is necessary to be pleasing to God. I would like to be forgiven, I would like to have a good relationship. But it is not up to me, I have tried.   Sometimes it is not possible, it depends on both sides. If one side is unwilling, there is nothing the other side can do. This is me, I try to explain with words. My wife would  get in her son's face and she would not be nice. We all have different personalities. I was told by one step child that I came at him sideways. I would try and soften what I had to say with words. Yet it is taken harshly. Everyone is different. I cannot use another's approach, we are often victims of family patterns / family dynamics. Every family is different.  I had a hard time speaking when I was a very young adult, now when I write you can't shut me up. I try and write something every day. Just remember if you don't like my words, you are in my space. You have the option of removing yourself and moving on. Sometimes this blog is my soap box, or my journal, it is my thoughts. You don't have to agree with them. If you find yourself constantly disagreeing with me, perhaps it would be wise to read elsewhere. I have reread and revised this at least six times, six different days since I first wrote it to try and be less offensive. Sometimes the problem is in the reader.  Do you give as much time to trying to understand as I have trying to write? I really do not spend that much time every time I write something. But most times I do reread what I write and try to not be offensive. I wonder if praying and then rereading would help? If you read this and find more hurt, that is what you want to find.  I have changed words, taken out sentences, added sentences each time I reread this post, trying to not be offensive.  In reality the reader has a different mindset then mine, they are a different person, some of what they attribute to my words is just from what is already in their heart. Only God can heal a heart that is broken.  I'd be willing to bet a heart with a forgiving attitude would read something completely different from a heart that has an unforgiving attitude.   Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23. But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:  Matthew 15:18-19.     Sometimes it really is a heart issue.  God bless, LVZ.