If there is no change

Can we be assured of salvation if there is no change in our lives?
Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God. By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. 1 John 3:4-10
If we practice sin are we truly born of God? I grew up in a church that believed people backslid. In later years, I heard teaching that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Once saved always saved. If someone is living a life of sin, they were never truly saved in the first place. I really don't want to discuss either view. John says no one who abides in Christ keeps on sinning. Yet he says if we say we have not sinned we are a liar. In the passage above John says no one born of God makes a practice of sinning. If we sin it should convict us and we should repent.  I wonder about people that live a life that is no different from the world around them. We use to joke about seeing the same faces in the dance hall on Saturday night and in Church on Sunday morning.  We make excuses for men, men will be men. If the Bible says it is wrong, we should not condone it. Sometimes it seems people want to see how much like the world they can be and still be saved. Children of God will practice righteousness. Children of God will love their brother. I think of people that practiced righteousness, like Billy Graham, my former Pastor Darcy, and many others. Then I know people that do the same things that we call sin day after day and still go to church. If a church going man is abusive to his wife is he saved?  If a married man is having an affair outside his marriage, is he saved? Are they practicing sin?  Many times we excuse behavior especially if it is a friend or a relative. We want family to be saved, but wishing it to be so does not make it so. I believe I needed to change behavior, I am not talking about mind over matter, but kneeling at the cross and saying Father I have sinned again. I don't think in light of the scripture above, I would want to stand before God and still be doing the same things I did as a non-Christian. I believe Christians do sin, but I believe they need a heart like King David and repent. Can we be assured of salvation, if there is no change in our lives and hearts? If we harbor ill will in our hearts are we truly saved? Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God nor is the one who does not love his brother.  It is hard loving people who have wronged us. But no one suffered more wrong than the Christ that died for our sins on a cross long ago. Brother, in this case having the same father (God). By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35 If we practice sin, if we have ought against a brother or sister are we truly saved? It is our heart we need to look at. Do we have genuine love for others? Does our love have an agenda? I was convicted of this recently in a sermon when our Pastor said genuine love does not have conditions, it is freely given. We don't need to do anything to receive genuine love. I love to see family saved, but I realized in my heart as I have given things, I hoped it would created a feeling of debt in that person to attend a mens breakfast with me.   I wanted something in turn for my giving. I need change in my heart, I want my love for others to be genuine without strings attached.  Perhaps I wanted something good for that person, but it had strings, Jesus died for our sins out of genuine love for us, not for what we could do for him. But because we needed him for the forgiving of our sins. He doesn't need us or what we can do. We need him. We need his grace and it is freely given to those that will receive it. Since Jesus came into our hearts has there been change from the condition he found us in? Jesus came to heal forgive and cleanse us. To create a new you and I. If we are the same as we have always been, is he truly Lord of our lives. Is our love for others genuine? God help me, LVZ.