Dishonor

If one curses his father or his mother,his lamp will be put out in utter darkness. Proverbs 20:20
I love my children, I always have. I don't feel I have been the best parent in the world. But I know I went to work many a day and held on to jobs I did not like when things got difficult because they were at home and I knew I had to feed them and take care of them. If I lacked it was in spending quality time with them. Much of that was because I was working. One day I stumbled across this scripture in Proverbs and wondered what it meant. From reading the commentaries it was the opposite of honoring your parents. There is a blessing that God promises when honoring our parents in the fifth commandment. Honor your father and your mother. "Honor your father and your mother, that it may be well with you, that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you. Exodus 20:12  New Heart English Bible 
I chose to copy this from the New Heart English Bible because it is worded slightly different and says that it may be well with thee. I write this as a warning to any one that reads this. God sees all that we do, nothing is hidden from God. If we disobey his commands, we will suffer the consequences. It really bothered me the time I read the proverb above and it stood out to me. I wanted to know what does this mean. I looked at commentaries because what does it mean his lamp will be put out in utter darkness. As near and as simply as I can determine, it means the opposite of the blessing that God pronounced with the fifth commandment. To honor means that you give weight to their words, when your parent tells you something, think it through. They know you better than anyone else because they raised and interacted with you for all your growing up years. Give weight to what they say. You do not have to agree with every single word, but think about what they say, ponder it. Here is another thought, I had them or 18 years or less before they or I was out of the house. They have had more than 20 years on their own. Have they corrected issues in their own life or do they go through life spinning their wheels blaming me because I was not perfect? Look around, there is only one that was perfect, Jesus Christ. They have had more time than I had to correct any mistakes I made.  Over the years I have wondered over and over again, what did I do that was so bad that my children will not honor me. To God it doesn't matter if we were a bad parent, he doesn't make exceptions in his fifth commandment for bad parents. You only have to honor good parents. That is not what God says. He says honor period, no if and or buts about it. Honor your parents that it may be well with you.  I have a son that I raised as my own and I knew from day one that he was not my biological  offspring. I felt it did not matter, he needed a Dad just the same. In fact it was my intention to never tell him, because I never wanted him to feel any different. I chose purposely to raise him as my own, with intent. He was not responsible for the actions of irresponsible adults that created him. I tried to be as good a parent as I knew. I was only 21 years old when he was born. I look at any 21 year old today and think they are not old enough or ready enough to raise  a child.  Neither was I, but I did and I chose to do it. There are a lot of children that have much less then what my children had, and they still choose to honor their parents. They will be blessed for doing so. I know of children that were adopted out or raised by grandparents or others because they had neither parent that was willing to step up and at least try. I tried, I was not the best parent in the world, but I really tried. It hurts me to my core when year after year my children dishonor me by not honoring me. My faith is strong that I will go on no matter what. But I fear for them because we reap what we sow. If they read this or any other child that has dishonored their parent, wake up. God does not give us an out because we did not have the best parent. He says to honor them just because they are parents. Good or bad, involved or not involved, it makes no difference. God says to honor those to whom honor is due. Many times are parent are what they are because of how they were raise. They had imperfect parents also. In fact look around you, this world is dysfunctional all around you. There are no perfect parents. All of them make mistakes. Their is one perfect father and he resides in Heaven above. He it is we should look to as we try to pattern our life after someone. A good parent will warn their children of impending disaster. If you do that, it will hurt you. I feel that is what I am doing as I write this. When I prayed about this issue many years ago I felt God answered my prayer in an unusual way. A fatherless child who never even knew who her father was, and her mother was incarcerated for drug activity, called me and asked if she could go to church with me on fathers day. This child was the product of a prostitute and a john. I thought many times so many children have had it worse than what I know. When that girl called me that day to go to church with me on Fathers Day, I felt like God was saying, I heard your prayers. If I did not love my children, it would not hurt. But it does and has every year that goes by and I am ignored on birthdays and fathers day, it still hurts. I want my children to do well. These words are from a fathers heart, I love my children and I want them to suceed.   I know God cares, he lets me know over and over again that my heavenly father cares for me just as I am. God bless, LVZ.