Respect

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
Love & Respect is the title of a book I am reading. It is a slow read. The key verse that this book seems to be centered around is the verse above. I want to tell a story that happened to me many years ago. My second wife and I were riding in my truck on our way home from an outing one Saturday. She turned on the radio to a gospel preacher and the preacher happened to be talking about how Husbands should treat their wives. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he used the scripture above in his sermon. The ministers sermon started out talking about how husbands should treat their wives. My wife was over on her side of the truck saying amen every few minutes. Then he must have been about halfway through his sermon and he said and Wives should......, and my wife reached over and turned the radio off. I have never forgotten that and I believe many times all of us do that, we fail to listen to our part of the sermon. I tell this story because part of what I want to say is not my part. Husbands need to love their wives as we love our selves. Ephesians 5:25 says we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Husbands are commanded to love their wives unconditionally. But it is the last part of the verse above that I want to talk about. It is directed at wives. Let the wife see that she respects her husband. It is not my part of the verse and I do not want to be like my second wife and only listen to the other partners part and ignore my own.  This book is talking a lot about the two parts. The  husband's part to love and the wife's part to respect. There are many places in the Bible we are told to do something without excuse. Children are to honor their parents, not just if they are good parents but because they are. No excuse given to not honor, it is a command. We are commanded to forgive, no excuses given to not forgive, it is a command. Here I feel the same thing is happening. No excuses given, no outs, it is a command for husbands to love their wives. It is a command for wives to respect their husbands. At least that is what I am reading in the book. I have always tried to look at my part. I have thought often about the story of the radio being turned off over the years and thought I need to concentrate on my part. Why the difference in the command to men to love, and women to respect?  We are equal, the man is not better than the woman nor is the woman better than the man. But we are different. People have written books on the differences. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is one that comes to mind. Actually we are both commanded to love and both commanded to respect. Perhaps this verse is hitting on a difference between men and woman. This book explains it as the woman is better at loving, given their mothering nature. It comes more natural and easy for them. Men have to work at it more to love. So is this saying perhaps that women have to work harder at the respect part? Both are necessary and when either one is missing we create a negative spiral that causes even more hurts and more negativity. I am giving this a lot of thought and I am always cautious at new thoughts. I have enough to live by already. Men desire to be respected probably as much as women desire to be loved. As I thought about this I reflected on my previous marriages and recognize that I indeed felt disrespected many times. That disrespect helped me to disobey my part to love as I should have. Or was it my inability to love as I should have that triggered the disrespect. It is kind of like does the chicken come before the egg or did the egg come before the chicken? We, husbands and wives, both have our part in this. Are we listening to our part and obeying the command God has given to us. I want to rightly divide the word of truth, and I have so much concentrated on my part. When we marry, God joins us together, we become one. Our actions affect our spouse. When one part is missing, the man loving his wife, or the wife respecting her husband, it sets a negative spiral in motion. Who acts first to correct this problem?  I tend to look to a man because I am a man, but yet God will tell a woman to do right by her man and perhaps her right behavior will win the man to Christ. We must do our part even when the partner is not doing his or hers. I am giving much thought to what I am reading in this book, I do want to be careful and rightly divide the word of truth.   God bless, LVZ.