I

Pastor Wolfson in Tacoma has preached a series of three sermons so far on "I". He has given me a lot to think about as he always does. Do we have a contract or are we committed? Have our dreams turned into expectation?  This one which I heard tonight as I listened to the second in a series, he talked about are we committed to marriage or are we committed to a person? Having been raised in what I consider to be a legalistic church, being committed to marriage is legalistic sounding, like the Pharisees. Being committed to a person like Barbara and Barbara to me, sounds a lot more like love. Being committed to marriage is maybe OK in that we want to protect the sanctity of marriage as something between one man and one woman for life. But if it is to hold something together that is three days dead, it stinks. Sticking together through thin and thinner doesn't do any body any good.  We need to be committed to a person, trying to make this a good thing. Elevating that person VS tearing them down, now that sounds much better than just sticking it out to the end with an abuser or a user. I don't think we have much to offer if we are teaching to just stick together for the sake of marriage. If the relationship is growing and getting better, we have something to offer. A couple that has a thriving relationship would be appealing to others. A lifetime of world war three probably doesn't appeal to any one in this day and age of easy divorce. So much teaching of the Bible can be subverted.  I don't think it is meant to celebrate and encourage a lifetime of world war three. I saw a short video on facebook about a young woman who's husband asked for a divorce. She teared up as she saw the papers. After a minute of contemplation she said she would sign the papers if her husband would hold her at  least once a day for the next thirty days. The first day they met at the place they first met. I may not have these in the right order. The husband reluctantly hugged her but he did. Then another day it was where he proposed , and where they first kissed. As the days went on, it was noticeable that it was easier and easier for him to hug her. It appeared it turned things around for this couple. There was a movie out called Fireproof where a young man and a woman were  headed towards divorce when the young man's father steps in and encourages him to take a Love dare, a 40 day challenge to work on improving his marriage. In the end of the movie they stay together and their relationship improves drastically. And I think that is what the Bible is really trying to teach us. God wants us to have a thriving marriage, a growing better relationship. I heard someone say marriages move, they either get better or worse with time. A big problem in any marriage is the "I" problem for one or both partners. This series of sermons has made we think about past relationships and my current marriage. I want it to grow and get better. They do not stand still. the other alternative is to get worse.  Often times I think of Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also  loved the church, and gave himself for it." Another version ends with "and gave himself up for her".  There doesn't  seem to be much of an "I" problem in Christ's actions. He is our pattern, and our hope.  God bless, LVZ.