A small part of my spiritual journey

Some of the religious stuff I see on face book sounds so far out. I think back to my early days as a christian. I believe I was sincere, but it is almost like I had a superiority complex back then because I belonged to a certain church. I remember riding some wheres with a Pastor and he asked me what I thought my knowledge of the scripture was on a scale between 1 and 10.  I said probably a 5. This pastor said it was probably more like an 8 because I belonged to this church. I can tell you this day I am probably 30 years older than I was at that time and I find so many people around me that know much more than I. But even then I think it is more important how much of what I have learned has been taken internally. Do I live what I already know? I see men my age that are elders and do an excellent job of teaching God's word. I hear some good preaching every week at church, on the Internet and on television. I feel I have spent the last 30 years unlearning some almost truths. I want to be sound in what I share. I remember in my twenties when I moved into my first house and I had Christian neighbors on both sides of me but I felt I would be a light to them because I was a part of that church.  I felt God would expect me to lead them to the true church, that I was apart of, of course. How differently I feel today, I feel sometimes I am the weakest link. I cannot get my neighbors to go to church. As far as I know my children do not go to church and haven't for years. Most members of my family do not go. When I stopped going to the Church I was raised in, it took about 4 years before I felt comfortable in a body of believers that did not belong to that denomination. I felt I was going against God on one hand and yet I was truly trying to follow God's leading. Looking back,(they say hind sight is 20/20), I believe it was God that moved me. Yet I was so indoctrinated that I felt I was going against him. That organization claims exclusiveness was never something they taught. But somebody taught it to me. To this day if I hear anything that sounds like exclusiveness, I want to run out the door. God has brought me where I am today because I believe I was sincere in my heart in wanting to truly follow God. I remember sermons on a vision of the church and I prayed for God to give me a vision of that church when I was young and it seems it never happened. Now I understand why. Actually I have a much different vision of God's church than what I was expecting to get. I tried to find the best Church I could when I moved to Tupelo, but I do not believe it is the only church where God shows up. I believe there are many Bible believing churches in Tupelo other than the one I belong to. Recently one of the men in my Sunday School class was substituting for a Pastor in a local Baptist Church in his absence.  But I also believe I am where God directed me to go. I am responsible for what I take in as spiritual food.  I also want to be a fruit bearing Christian. My vision of God's church includes Christians from many Bible believing denominations including the one I was raised in. There are some good christian people in that organization. I know some of them. The scripture does say "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together,"( attend Church). Hebrews 10:25.  I ask God for direction  and he has been faithful in leading me several times to good churches.  God bless, LVZ.