Fidelity in Marriage*

I think this is another thing that should be a core value in the life of a Christian. God intended for marriage to be for life. One man, one woman for a lifetime is God's perfect will for marriage for us. Infidelity in marriage is what has led me to divorce several times. The infidelity of my spouses is something I could not handle. It is devastating, it is said to be second in destructive power only to physical abuse. Matthew 5: 27-28 "Ye have heard that is was said by them of old  time, thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, that whosever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with already in  his heart."   I know that it was the infidelity in my first marriage that took an emotional toll on me to where I had nothing left to give to anyone. I ended up on medical leave, I was completely drained. I believe Jesus is showing us how to achieve fidelity in our marriage. He sets the standard high, do not look upon another woman to lust after her. In Job 31:1, Job says: "I made a covenant with my eyes: why then should I think upon a maid?" Job in his time realized it starts with looking. I don't know how women dressed in Job's day, but I know in the day and age we live in little is left to the imagination. So much cleavage is shown today by the way our women dress. We went thru an age of Daisy Duke shorts, the mini shirt. There is so much for a man's eyes to see in the day and age we live in. Perhaps we too like Job need to make a covenant with our eyes not to look upon a woman to lust after her. I think what this is telling us, the infidelity starts long before physical contact is made. It can be so innocent at the start, an emotional connection with someone other than our spouse. I remember my second wife had a friend named John in another part of the country that she would regularly confide in. It was devastating to me, part of me thought it was my insecurity and my issues because I had married too soon after my first divorce. But that was emotional infidelity that took its toll on me. Fidelity in marriage needs to start in our thought life, fidelity in our emotional life. Don't take no chances, don't give infidelity any place to take root in our lives. It needs to be a core value in the life of a Christian. It is the little foxes that spoil the vine. I am not sure I am the one to give marriage advice; after all, I have failed 4 times, but on the other hand, I have had a lot of experience with failure and perhaps I can see much to avoid. I see what I call the downward spiral, one spouse makes a mistake and there is retaliation. Love keeps no record of wrongs, here again, we go back to forgiving is not optional, it is an absolute necessity in the life of a Christian and in a marriage for it to be successful. When thinking of something as a core value, I think one more question should be asked, is it an actual core value or aspirational? God  Bless, LVZ.