He was no more*

This morning as I was meditating I thought about Enoch from the 5th chapter of Genesis. In Genesis 5:22 "And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters." And in verse 24 "Enoch walked with God; then he was no more" because God took him away." I thought about my early walk with God when I was a young man, I felt I just couldn't live it. I saw so many failings in my life. But something changed Enoch after his first child was born and the verse above says he started to walk with God. It seems many people grow up when they have someone to be responsible for others than themselves. Perhaps it was that, being responsible for another human being that caused Enoch to talk and walk with God. It left an impression on God. He is one of two people recorded in the bible as God taking them. It was normal for life spans to be in the 900-year range before the flood of Noah, but Enoch lived a relatively short life in comparison, 365 years. Methuselah his son lived 969 years. This was before the flood of Noah and it seems people had become evil and God was sorry he had created them. Enoch stood out even though there are very few verses in the Bible devoted to him. I thought about my early years and having grown up in a church that taught perfection, I felt very confused, because I believe I was honest on the inside and saw my failings. I wasn't perfect, I became discouraged and even at one point giving up because I could not live that perfect life. God didn't give up on me, many times I felt God was still talking to me. At some point I realized, I didn't have to be perfect. I realized I could take my concerns to God and he would help me and change me. My life seems to be inconsistent. I get busy with a project and I feel inconsistent. I talk to God about it. I don't feel condemned, I know God knows me better than I know myself. I can speak harshly at times, and I catch myself, I tell God about it and he helps me. I will never be able to live a life that Enoch lived, but I am glad that I chose to walk with God. I will most likely live to old age in comparison to the life spans of people in this day and time. Most likely I will die a natural death someday unless I am privileged to live until the second coming of Christ. Recently when threatened, I did think about my own mortality, not knowing if a person that threatened me was crazy enough to carry it out and not just spouting words to try and control a situation. The what-if thoughts came into my head. What about my wife, children, grandchildren, and other family members. Its all in God's hands. The days of my life are numbered, but I do not know the number of those days. I do not regret walking with God, it was the best decision of my life. I look at other decisions and think why did I do that. Why did I buy this problematic house, Why did I marry that person I later divorced. Life could have been so much better if I'd made better decisions. But my decision to walk with God the best I could has been the best decision of my life. I have been blessed, and am thankful. It hasn't been a perfect life, I still go thru things, like the recent episodes of being threatened, but there is a peace that comes with walking with God. Whatever happens, I am in his hands. God bless, LVZ.