First*

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." As I was thinking of what to write about this time, I was listening to a sermon about family matters. This verse was mentioned just briefly. The statistics for marriages say 50% fail. Some Christian radio program did a survey on marriages where the couple prays together. They found that only 8% of Christian couples pray together. They also found that of that 8% that prayed together only 1% of those couples got divorced.  Hmm. I know that praying together with my wife was always a struggle. My first wife, the first time I ever saw her was at a revival in Hermiston Oregon. Both of our fathers were ministers in the Church of God of  Prophecy.  From the outside, it may have seemed we had a lot going for us. I do know we did not pray together at least not very often. 2nd wife, I met at a singles Bible study at Northshore Christian Church. Here was a woman that seemed to have this church stuff down. She studied the word of God faithfully, tried to teach it to others, but I do know it was difficult for us to pray together. We were separated for 9 months one time and every week we would meet at church and sit together during the church service and then not see each other again until the next Sunday. We did finally get back together for a while, but I doubt we made much effort to pray together. That marriage lasted about 5 years. I can still remember the Amens she said about every two minutes during a Pastor's sermon. Wife number 3: I was a two-time failure at the time I met her, I was lonely. I met her at Martin Luther King Jr Memorial Baptist Church.  We barely made it one month before we were separated. I don't think we ever at any time prayed together. I did a lot of praying after I married her. I also remember thinking if this doesn't work, I can just get a divorce like I have two times before. Well, it didn't even come close to working. It was almost a year from the time the marriage license was signed to the time the divorce papers were signed. I was now a three-time loser when it came to marriage. I was still lonely. I moved to Tacoma and started attending Eastside Baptist Church. I met this young lady outside my apartment building one day. I thought she has been brought up in church and we became friends.  One Sunday I noticed a lady at Eastside that had a strong resemblance to my new friend.  When I saw the young lady again, I told her about the lady at church that looked like her. She asked,  where did you go to church at? I said Eastside. She said that's where my Mom and Dad go. My new friend was not going to church at all. Months went by and we remained friends, until one day she asked if she could move in with me.   I let her move in to try and help her and we got married shortly thereafter. But we did not even go to church together except for once in a while, much less pray together. The last two marriages were very difficult for me and stressful. I was still lonely even though I was married. Once again I signed divorce papers for the fourth time.  I have prayed many a prayer during each of these marriages, and I saw God answer some of these prayers in an awesome way. After this fourth divorce, I started praying God if you want me to be alone in this life help me with my loneliness and to be happy by myself. Change me, help me to live a Christian life as a single man.  I still wasn't doing that very well, and I was very lonely.
God if you want me to be single help me to be happy with it. I went to a divorce recovery class several times.  That was very helpful to me. As I tell this story, I see where I had finally started to seek God for me, not to find the right woman. But to help me be the Christian man I needed to be to please God. It was not easy. I had a couple more girlfriends that just did not work out, and I kept praying God if you want me to stay single, help me to be happy with being single. Help me to deal with my loneliness in a healthy manner. I think I was finally seeking God first and asking him to guide my steps. To block any relationship that was not in his will. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. I remember praying asking God to help me be the person he wanted me to be. If it was to be single than I just wanted to be content with it. That is something I started seeking to be the right person, and not look for the right person. I don't know if that idea was planted in my head thru divorce recovery class or if it was just where God had led me to, but I do remember asking to be the right person for someone and not looking for the right person. I do remember asking God If you want me to be single for the rest of my life, I am willing, just help me to be happy alone.  God brought Barbara into my life, I was more or less thinking this isn't going to work. She lives in Mississippi and I live in Washington state. I have already failed in four marriages and I don't see how this can work out. But I do remember in a session of divorce recovery a minister saying if God has someone for you and you are here and they are there halfway around the world. God will move you to where they are at or will move them to where you are at. Barbara came out to Seattle WA for her sisters 70th birthday and we saw each other for the first time. We had talked on the phone for several months and wrote a letter or two.  We actually liked each other when we met. This is a keeper, we need to pray together. I want to be in the 99% group rather than the 1% percent group for the fifth time. God intended marriage to be one man, one woman for one lifetime. For better or worse until death do part. So far it has been 6 good years.  God Bless, LVZ.